Hey honey! I know you've been super stressed this year. And I know you're super looking forward to a WHOLE YEAR OFF WORK. Exciting huh? I know you're making big plans right now. India, for one - you've wanted to go for years. A road trip through Europe to Greece with your beloved, another trip to Morrocco, maybe a drive through Asia and hey, why not even go round Australia?

Oh babe. You couldn't have picked a worse year to have off. But don't worry, it could definitely be worse. And it's far better than being at work, believe me. On this end, that's pretty hilarious, given what 2020 is going to throw at you. Holy shitballs, it's going to throw stuff at everyone.

You'll get to India, but can I advise leaving as soon as you are done with work in December? It'll give you more of a chance to travel round a bit, before you actually aren't allowed to travel. Yes, you heard me. Borders will be shut, and flights will be grounded. By Christmas 2020, there will still be 38,000 Australians trying to get home, but they won't be able to. Don't worry, you'll get home, so if you're going to leave, leave asap. Don't worry about fixing up the Landrover before you go, as you'll have plenty of time to fix it when you get back in June/July. Plennnnntttyyyy of time.

You know the goddess Kali you've been trying to avoid? The one with skulls on her belt? Well, you're going to get to know her really well this year. She's the Goddess of time, and death, and some pretty scary shit. But hold out your hand to her, because she's going to teach you a few things and you may as well make her your friend. She's the Goddess of 2020 for sure. Not just for you, but the whole world. Things are going to get really, really bizarre, and millions of people are going to die, in addition to the usual ones - you know, heart disease and poverty and the stuff they don't shut down the whole world for. Not being bitter or anything, but boy there are going to be some right royal cock ups politically due to this-thing-that's-coming.

So I'm afraid you aren't going to feel relaxed to - hmmmm - October 2020? You'll feel pretty much everything this year. My advice is not to stress - you're not going to get sick personally, and you know how to look after your immune system AND you've faced the idea of death with your Dad being sick these last few years, so I'd say you are pretty resourced up. Everyone else is going to freak out big time, and that's going to affect you energetically, but just you keep doing what you do - focus on the beautiful nature, particularly Spring in Somerset (you won't get any further than that, my dear) which is more kickass than you can possibly imagine. Enjoy it, and whilst I give you full permission to scream at the sky, do try to let it go quickly so you can enjoy what you do have.

I do advise you book a flight to the UK before the 12th March from India - say around the 10th? It'll make things a little easier. And oh - in June you'll have two weeks in a hotel, which you can do nothing about, but do know it will be the worst part of your year by far. It fucking sucks balls big time. But, there is absolutely no way to avoid this, even if I give the game away and tell you what shitshow 2020 is going to be. The only way to avoid hotel quarantine (oops, spoiler alert) is to not go travelling at all, and given that you WILL make some good memories, I would definitely NOT advise staying at home.

By the time Christmas comes around, Australia is going to be pretty good, all things considered, so don't even think about staying in the UK. They'll have a fairly good summer whilst you are in lockdown (oops, another spoiler alert - have you guessed yet? That depends if you're in that part of 2019 when Wuhan becomes a big news item) but due to the strictness of what the state premier does in response, which is pretty hard core, you guys end up okay for Christmas and life in nearly back to normal.

Oh, but don't go to NSW around Christmas.

Or anywhere for that matter - but you won't, because you won't have much choice. Aint no one going nowhere.

Have a fabulous year!

What would you tell your 2019 self?