I've almost died several times and probably should have even more. I managed cemeteries for over 10 years and it gave me a chance to really reflect on death. I watched what it to families and I've come to a conclusion. Expectations. At certain times in history the infant mortality rate was 50% and only 30% made it past the teenage years. Death was commonplace and people accepted it. Now, with advances in medical science, people expect to live longer and if they don't they feel cheated. Mary Shelley's book Frankenstein is about overcoming death- predicated upon the fear of it. Epicurus wrote: "There is nothing to fear in death, for death is merely the dissolution of atoms and there is nothing to fear in the dissolution of atoms. For when death occurs, the soul has already departed." I wish the best for your family member and for you as well. If your greatest fear is not accomplishing anything (and believe me, you're not alone in that) may be time to get busy.