Please Forgive My Distance - Trust Comes Only With Time

"Please Forgive My Distance". It runs just like a mantra. It runs through my head over again in those moments of doubt, confusion, exhaustion, and hopelessness. "Please forgive my distance - I will forgive you". It comes to mind as I am leaving the house to go pick up my stuff from the apartment complex and when I get there it just repeats again "please forgive my distance".


Those who have experienced dis-ease in their life and have tried to crawl forward have probably heard this mantra or variation of it over again. The reason I am telling you now is so that you will be able to let it go. "Please Forgive My Distance - I can forgive you". The last thing you want to do is to hold on to that pain and continue to push yourself away from the possibilities of living a life without dis-ease.

There are many ways to let go of your distance. It could be by taking deep breaths when you feel overwhelmed or letting go of the guilt that you may feel about your distance from others. As you make the choice to forgive yourself for the choices you have made that create the distance between you and the people you care about let go. Allow the trust to come through and begin to move forward in your life.

Letting go of the shame associated with the problem is often the most difficult part of for forgiving your distance. If you were an adulterer then you likely had feelings of shame for years about your behavior. It is time to let go of those feelings. You don't need to punish yourself. You are not being smeared.

If you have children then you have a responsibility to take care of them. Your actions will determine the trust you build. If you choose to remain angry, you will not build the trust necessary to gain forgiveness. Instead of punishing yourself you must choose to forgive and start with a small amount of action.

So what does it mean to "forgive" yourself when you decide to let go? The act itself creates a space between you and the person you are forgiving. The space is the opportunity for you to regain your sense of self. You are working towards a sense of forgiveness. It doesn't matter what happened to cause the harm. Forgiveness is about working towards a place where the hurt no longer exists.

The act of forgiveness can be very empowering, even if it does take some time to fully move forward. When you are working towards forgiveness you must allow yourself some distance from the event that caused the hurt. Distance makes healing easier. When you do this you can look at your life and understand why forgiveness is important.

Life can often be so focused on the present that we get caught up in what is happening in the moment. We get so caught up in those events and how they make us feel that we forget about the past. The past is precious. Let go of the past and focus on the present.

You might have heard of the saying, "You get out of your shell," and that may apply to forgiveness also. Your heart is going to be opened up when you are not focused on what is happening. You may find yourself thinking about the things that caused the anger. If you are going to forgive, do not think about those things. Thoughts about them will bring more pain to you and keep you from reaching forgiveness.

Trust comes when you are not trying to control others. When you try to control them as you push them away. When you are not trying to control them, you will be able to reach out and have faith that they will listen. When you are faithful, you will find that you can reach out and have trust.


I encourage you to take time out for yourself. It is OK to take some time away from your kids, your home, and other activities in order to let go of the anger and the resentment that are causing you grief. A big part of forgiveness is being able to let go of the distance created by that resentment.