What a touching personal story that of your, milady.
I was reading the answer that you gave to my comment in another text of yours, "money as a form of energy", in Medium.com, when i decided to find you in Steemit, but i wasn´t expecting such a hard blow.
I find your experience very unique, for being able to enter in contact with such a harsh reality, that is portrayed like a "dream" by the mass media, and the mass fools that support it.
The old wise ones says that we have to learn, either by love, or trough pain, but the lesson will force itself upon us.
By reading your words i´m forced to make the question: in an imaginary universe, of magical quantic possiibilities, how would your life be, if you learned the same lessons that this hard experience teached you trough pleasure, instead of pain?
Looking to my own past, i ask to myself "How can i learn trough pleasure, the same lessons that i learned trough pain?"
But it´s not the past that is really imporant, the fundamental question, the question that will define our destinies is "How can i learn all the lessons that life will teach me, in the future, with pleasure, instead of pain?"

Can you imagine a life of creativity, where time is spent in searching new ways of having even more hapyness and prosperity, like an artist doing his, or her, Art, instead of fight to survive, to overcome chalanges in the struggle sense, not in the artistic/creative sense?

" I was looking for an answer.
It's the question that drives us, Neo."

• Trinity, The Matrix