Compassionate Listening And Mantras To Lessen Suffering

Proving that you can’t take the healer out of the healer (ever) I set out to help myself.

In the process, I ended up finding some valuable skills (in seemingly) basic concepts that are just too helpful, not to freely share.

(Roll yourself a fattie, take a few rips or light a bowl, it may help.)

I’m in the process of a spiritual power-up.
At this point, the only way out of this particular rabbit hole is to make my way through it. ~ R. Ryan

From the teachings of Tich Nhat Hanh, a now 85 year old, Vietnamese Buddhist Monk:

• Practice Compassionate Listening.

This is a form of listening whereby the outcome of the act is to truly listen to the other person’s experiences and perspectives without adding to it, or passing judgment of any kind.

The whole goal of compassionate listening is to give the other individual your complete attention without interjection until they have finished communicating.

The main benefit of engaging in the art of compassionate listening is to give another human being, the opportunity to unload their emotional payload. In turn, having an opportunity to vent, frees the person’s mind and their heart. This relieves stress and supports immune function within the person’s physical body.

This concept sounds simple enough but it’s easier said than actioned.

The difference is that as the listener your job is to give the person an unbiased ear while you focus ALL your attention on the person. They don’t have to share your attention with anybody else or anything else, simultaneously.

The goal isn’t to interrupt, pass judgment about the conversation’s topic or begin brainstorming to find a solution to each challenge that’s uncovered.

Instead, the objective is to demonstrate to the person (through the action of focusing your attention on them) that you have time for them.

Giving your undivided attention communicates to the person that you genuinely care about their wellbeing and that you support them.

We often underestimate the power that offering our presence to another person, has.

Once the process of compassionate listening is engaged, it can be supported by the following mantras (which are simple statements):

• My Sweet, I know that you exist.
• My Sweet, I’m here for you.
• My Sweet, I know that you are suffering.

When we are hurt by another person’s choice of actions, often we choose to quarantine ourselves so that we can suffer in isolation.

Somehow, withdrawing our presence feels like an easier way to communicate our unhappiness and process our own feelings at the same time.

It may give time for an individual to think but beyond that, it’s not constructive because it traps the mind into running what if scenarios.

As humans, we are skilled at identifying what we like and what we don’t.

This is the first step:

Identify what works for you and what doesn’t.

The second step is to:

Learn to communicate.

When we are hurt (by someone who we care about) we simply need to say:

”My Sweet, I am suffering, please help me.”

Yeah, it’s an evolution and a bit foreign.

Going from the simple act of administering what could be considered giving another person the cold shoulder treatment to a more complex action of inclusion seems like a step up... to the next rung on the evolutionary ladder of consciousness.

Rebecca, in order for you to experience the beauty of a lotus flower, you must first acknowledge the mud it requires to grow in...before it can bloom.

Embrace the mud so that you can embrace the flower.

The mud and the flower are inter-connected.

The same relationship applies to the emotions of suffering and happiness.

Without one, how can you truly understand and appreciate the other?

A good question. It’s deep and worthy of some serious contemplation time.

(With your favourite strain, of course.)

~ Rebecca