Mask

I've been to this interactive theater performance last night. It's kind of a play where the boundaries between public and performers disappear and while you are not part of the story you get to watch it very close. You are near the actors and follow them through the stage. This one was a huge 5-floors stage so you'd get up and down and sideways.
Of course, as you follow one character, you don't know what the others re doing. Kind of like life...but could make for a confusing theater experience.

Anyway, what I really wanted to talk about though is how difficult can be to let go of habits and social conditioning. in this performance we were wearing masks so basically no one knows who you are. There's always darkness. Is the perfect anonymity. As they say: give a person a mask to find out who they really are. Well, I found out that I'm very much myself..and a frustrated/scared ID.

Even behind the mask I often felt that I was either doing something wrong or brought unwanted attention to myself. I half expected to be thrown out or scolded for no real reason.

But the weirdest thing was how me-centric the whole experience felt. I was simultaneously amused by how important I felt and finding it impossible to turn off this feeling. Walking around from room to room, I felt compelled to play jokes on other participants or interact with the other actors, though I had no business doing either.

Another thing was that I kept making all kinds of strategies and plans on how to "figure" the whole play out. What would be the best way to see as much as I can. I totally spent a lot of of my time in my head instead of enjoying being in the moment and discovering. I guess a child-like curiosity would have been useful. Is not that I did not realize that, cause I did, but that I maybe tried so hard to find it that I totally missed it. A child doesn't try to be child...

Ultimately, it was an interesting experience that I feel like I totally butchered as I usually do.
Next.