Does the "why" matter?

I see a lot of spin these days based on the "why". When you can't discuss the actual action, you can totally discuss the reason behind it. It usually is prefaced with " But you don't understand that...".

In poker we have this quandary as well, two people are different skill levels can do the same thing and if we ask them why, you realize that one is a fish and one is a pro. In poker, "why" matters, because on the long run a faulty why will cost you everything. But what about politics? What about personal relationship?

Can we forgive everything because the why is somewhat relatable. If someone yells at you and gaslights you into feeling bad about yourself...but they were abused by their parents or exes in their return and can't express anger differently...are they excused? If they have a mental disease, is that understandable then?
vs
A person who just enjoy yelling and does not give a shit about how you feel.

If a politician does something out of pressure from their voters but not moral compass, is he good? Should we judge him as just?

Big questions that maybe boil down to lines in the sand. Lines that ew all drag and try to respect until, somehow, we make an exception..

Why?