I don’t feel like I have much to offer the world. What is the point of life?

Boy have I been there before myself.

I’ll tell you a story.

10 years ago I had just given up on life. The doctors sat across their table from me and advised that I had to stop drinking else I was going to end up face-down in the gutter, there was no easy way to tell it. That month I began to make the steps to quit drinking for good and weed out any reminders I had in the flat.

Soon, I began to see the cracks in my social balance.

No-one was supportive of me, in fact the very last night in the bar, I sat there, alone, with no-one to talk to because everyone I had told about my sobriety hated the idea. People really don’t like it when you call into question their own actions; by me making an effort to sort out my own life then this brought to the forefront how their behaviour was negatively impacting others, and, people would rather not think about that!

So for the following two years I sat mostly alone in my two bedroom flat contemplating life and the universe. It had been a period of revival for me, albeit very lonely. See, when I wasn’t at work I was at home and sometimes I would sit in my house and a month would go by without talking to anyone. It really brought to the forefront of my mind the actual stance I held in my social hierarchy, which wasn’t very high at all if no-one was prepared to meet up with me.

It brought on some serious doubts as to what purpose my life was holding on this planet. Why was I here? Was I put here as a social joke to be scoffed at when someone needed entertaining? Or was this some kind of punishment that had befallen me? My worth? I didn’t feel like I had much worth at all, if any. I hadn’t seen my own mother in at least 3 years, and if she wouldn’t come and see me then why the fuck should anyone else? It was hard times I will admit. No friends, no family, no-one to call my partner. Just me, and my re-runs of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Friends. Those were my REAL friends. They didn’t leave me, they were always there when I hit play on my DVD recorder.

What I hadn’t realised by then was that I had trapped myself in a sort-of victim mentality. I blamed the world for my problems when all I needed to do was take action to make some progress. I was living in a place that was long gone; I would frequently dream about the good nights we had out and the social life that I once had. There was this empty hole in my stomach where love should have been but it was replaced with fear, sadness and doubt. I was truly trapped in a time that didn’t exist anymore. I couldn’t see it though; it was so great when I was social and right now it was so.. so.. shit.

It wasn’t until I took action that life began to change and in a really inspiring and good way. After a long period of wallowing in what once was, I decided it was time to look forward and see if there was something in the future for me. I took myself to College. From there I met new people and began my very own new social circle, after all my previous friends didn’t care so what’s the harm in setting up a new one?

After college I managed to secure myself teaching IT in the community and finding a passion inside myself that I never really knew that I had. Teaching people to overcome their fears was like having a permanent alcohol hit. It was a good feeling. I realised that it wasn’t IT that was the drug for me it was helping people overcome obstacles that was the catnip.

Through that job I took myself through some private counselling and learned some great (and pretty shitty) things about myself and worked on my mentality to build it for the better.

I began to find interests that I never knew I had - Photography, video editing, writing, IT, life was coming thick and fast for me.

Aaaand along the way I met my lovely wife who bore my Son. He’s 7 now, and we’ve been Married for nearly 9 years. I can fully say that if I hadn’t met my wife I wouldn’t have been on some of the amazing journeys that I’ve been on.

I picked up books.

I watched video lectures

I began to expand my mind in ways that I didn’t think humanly possible.

In late 2012 I managed to land a Job in Project Management and worked there for 3 years until my funding ran out, but we raised some amazing community projects and we mentored and helped some troubled people go on to do some fucking amazing things with their life.

And now I’m a writer with my own magazine: The Relationship Blogger — I tell you, life has been one amazing ride for me since 2006 when I stopped boozing it up with those people.

So when you ask me if life has any meaning because you aren’t feeling it - I get that. Life probably doesn’t have any meaning right now. But if you get off your seat and go and thrust yourself knee deep into learning, introspection and community, you’re going to have a damn good time!

Yeah, it’s going to be hard if you’re like I was and have zero social skills, no professional skills and about as much chance of getting a lady/bloke as the homeless guy that sleeps in your flat hallway.

But there’s nothing stopping you getting out there and making a start.

Where? Anywhere!