Day 8 - Practice Mindful Hugging - 30 Days Mindfulness Challenge

“A hug is worth a thousand words.” ~Author Unknown

I need to tell you right from the start that one of my nick names received from my friends is "Professional Hugger" or the short form "Huggie".

So everything I share here is biased. It is coming from a person that loves hugging and spreading the "virus".

So here I am, about to expose you to this oxytocin stimulant and immune system booster among many other benefits.

Before getting to the do's and don'ts of proper hugging let's see what science has to say about the benefits of this yummy habbit.

Hugging numbers according to scientists

– 20 seconds – it’s the necessary time for the release of oxytocin in our brains.

Why do we want more of this hard to spell hormone?

"The oxytocin hormone, the same hormone that is present when bonding with a baby or while engaging in lovemaking, is produced. Oxytocin offers a calming effect on the body and mind, and an increase in this hormone can have benefits on our overall health, supporting among many things, our sense of safety, decreasing anxiety, and increasing relaxation and a sense of calm."-Christina Devereaux Ph.D, BC-DMT.

You can read her whole article about hugging here.

– 8 hugs a day – is the optimum amount of hugs we need to feel good and to boost our immune system. Other studies say we need 12, but I think you're fine with fewer, if they are with people you care about and done in a mindful way.

“We have shown that touch not only raises oxytocin, but it reduces cardiovascular stress and can improve the immune system. Try telling people that you hug rather than shake hands and see what happens when you give others the gift of oxytocin.” (Paul J. Zak, The Moral Molecule)

Science aside, let's dive into:

Day 8 - Practice The art of Mindful Hugging

You might say hugging is obvious, but trust me, for many people it isn't.

So here are the instructions for proper hugging.

When you say hello to your friends today, open your arms with a big smile and wait for them to do the same. Spread a bit your legs, bend slightly your knees and get close to each other. Wrap your arms around your friend and breath deeply for at least 5 breaths or until you count to 20. Feel your heart, relax and enjoy the moment.

That's what I call mindful, delicious hugging!

If you feel like adding some sounds to the embrace, and you are with a close friend, than go a ahead and purr like a cat. Just don't do this with someone you've just met, you might scare them.

The "don'ts" of proper hugging

I’ve noticed that many people don’t get what hugging is all about. And that's because they've been exposed to fake hugs. Among these, avoid especially these three:

-the “politician” – touching shoulders and tapping each other’s back

-the “prude” – keeping your genital area far, far away, as if your ass is being pulled back by an invisible thread

-the “macho man” – touching sideways, shoulders and arms, with taps on the back

Also don’t tap or rub your partner’s back unless you want to end the hug. Although when massaging someone these actions are very nice, while hugging they send on an unconscious level the message “I am done here, let’s split”.

When not to hug someone

Like I said in the beginning I'm all for hugging from the heart and mindfully. But, I also learned I need to choose who I hug. I am highly sensitive and feel other people's emotions and energy more than the average person.

If you too are like me, then be selective when practicing these mindful, heart to heart hugs.

During a 20 seconds hug there is enough time for your energies to mingle. When I hugged people I was not resonating with I felt bad afterwards. So now I politely avoid hugs when my gut says "no".

Also, if you notice someone is reluctant to hugging respect their choice and don't go for the hug.

Hugs are beneficial only if they are mutually agreed and desired by both persons.

Have fun with mindful hugging today!

Photo source Unsplash

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I'm a psychologist, intuitive coach, blogger and vlogger. You can find me mainly on my blog at Being Raluca where I write about communication, relationships, listening and sexuality. Here on Steemit you may stay updated by following me @raluca.

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