3 ideas for emotional housekeeping

If you're like me or like most people on my side of the world, you probably clean your house on a weekly basis. Or sometimes if you're really tired you might do it every other week.

Worst case scenario a month passes by while you only clean the absolute must, like the bathroom and the kitchen, but when the dust rolls are just too much to bear anymore you go into a cleaning frenzy.

The thing that I realised a while ago is that many people (me included) tend to get so obsessed with external cleanliness but we often forget about our internal home, about our emotional space.

Actually, I think not many people think about their interior world as a home that needs maintenance, repairs and cleaning.
But ever since I started thinking about my soul's home as a sacred place that needs care and protection just like a physical home, I started doing three simple things to keep it clean and healthy.

So without further ado, here are my 3 suggestions to keep your emotional home nice and tidy.

1"Don't let anyone touch that sacred place inside yourself" Maya Angelou

In this video, Maya Angelou talks with Oprah about the best piece of advice she has ever given.
Something struck a cord with me when she said that she advised her son to keep a pristine place inside himself, and don't allow anyone in this world to curse him.
Because, that place might be the place you go to meet God. And this might mean that you need to tell someone "No, back up!" to protect yourself, and that is ok. It means you are setting up healthy boundaries.

Watch the 3 minute video if you have the time, she talks about this at around 1'38''.

2 Take care of the relationship with yourself

If you spend time every week to dust off, vacuum clean and tidy up your house why wouldn't you do the same with your inner world? It took me a long time to realize that the most important relationship I need to take care of, before anything else, is the relationship with myself.

How I give myself loving care, how much time I allow myself to do the things that relax my mind and my body, that sooth my soul or bring me pure, simple joy, affects everything else: the way I behave with those around me, my ability to work and to respond to and take care of the needs of the important people in my life.

So, when it comes to keeping you inner world healthy you can do whatever works for you.

Choose your own little ritual, like 5’-10’ of meditation, a yoga session, a walk or a run in the park, dancing to your favourite music or a bubble bath with salt and candles that you do daily and some that you do weekly.

It doesn’t matter if you give to this only 10 minutes certain days when you’re too busy, or 1h when you have more time, the important things are your intention, your commitment to this and your state of presence while performing your little ritual.

3 Clean the dirt under your relationships rug

Often times in our relationships with our life partners, our family, our kids or closest friends we go through moments when we don’t have the time to say what’s on our heart. The kids need to be taken to school, you’re getting late for work so you postpone telling your partner that something that he did or forgot doing bothered you.

So you hide this small nuisance under your relationship’s metaphorical rug. The danger with this is that in time, we get too much shit hidden under that rug and it starts to pester and stink untill one day it explodes and makes a huge mess.

So in order to avoid this time-ticking-bomb in the first place, try this simple practice: schedule an honest talk once a week. You need a dedicated time and place during which you take turns to share whatever bothers, worries or has upset you during the previous week. There are two rules you need to follow for this to work well.

The first rule is: while one talks the other doesn’t have the right to say anything, no matter if they feel like defending themselves or answering in any way. Once you’re finished talking, thank your partner and than switch roles: now you listen to what you partner has to say.

The second rule: your partner should talk about something different than what you talked about and avoid replying, explaining or commenting on what you had to say. Allow a 24h window before re-opening the discussion you had, if you still feel the need for this. Most of the times you’ll discover you don’t need to anymore.

So that was it for today's emotional housekeeping ideas.
Try these three practices for a while and let me know how they worked for you.

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I'm a psychologist, intuitive coach, blogger and vlogger. You can find me mainly on my blog at www. beingraluca.com where I write about communication, relationships, listening and sexuality. Here on Steemit you may stay updated by following me @raluca.

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