5 questions that will forever change your life

A person with an attitude toward growth perceives mistakes and failures as an integral part of life experience. He does not consider his qualities as something immutable, but asks himself: "What lessons can I learn from this situation?", "What can be done differently next time?", "How to use the information received as a basis for development?"

Failures can weaken you, but can make you stronger. And it depends only on your psychological attitude.

Accepting this or that setting, you discover a new world for yourself. In the first world, failure indicates defeat. You got a bad evaluation. You lost the competition. You were fired. You were rejected. This means that you are not smart or talented. In another world, failure indicates insufficient growth. You have not achieved what is important to you. You have not realized your potential. And you just need to do more.

1. How do you perceive success?

A person with a certainty believes that success is a proof of his mind or talent. Once recognized once, he does not want to take risks and take on more complex tasks, since keeping status for him is more important than development. It is important for him to assert himself, to convince himself and others in his natural giftedness. And he will prefer to stay idle, if there is even the slightest danger of destroying this illusion.

A person with an attitude to growth does not cling to his victories. For him, success is not the measure of intelligence, but the result of hard work and just another stage on the way to other achievements. He understands that he is able to learn something new and become better, so he is not afraid to move on, to try his hand and make mistakes.

Here's a good example. During one study, the researchers gave the students a selection of tasks from the IQ test. Most of the guys coped with the task well, and they were praised. Part - for the manifested ability: "You must be very clever." The second group - for the efforts made: "I guess you did a lot of work."

Immediately after the experiment, the behavior of the children showed differences. Praise for the ability drove the students into the installation for granted. When they were given a choice, they gave up complex tasks, from which they could learn something new. They did not want to do anything that could question their talent. And schoolchildren from the second group were pleased to accept the challenge and subsequently showed more and better results.

1. What do you expect from a relationship?

How do you imagine your ideal mate? People with a sense of purpose usually dream of a person who will put them on a pedestal, support them with confidence and adore them.

They rarely manage to create a strong and happy marriage, because they are not ready to work on their shortcomings, nor do they realize that their partner can also change for the better. When they see flaws in a person, they quickly become disillusioned with him and break off their relations without even trying to solve the problem.

Setting for the given makes you believe that your qualities are unchanged, that the qualities of your partner are unchanged, and also that the characteristics of your relationship are unchanged - that they are initially good or bad. In this case, the ideal love affair is represented as instant, complete and eternal compatibility. No disagreements, no compromises, no effort and no sacrifice. Unfortunately, this happens only in fairy tales and ladies' novels, but not in real life.

People with an installation for growth have very different expectations. For them, a good relationship is a joint development and a friendly overcoming of problems. They want the partner to push them to perfection, encourage them to learn something new and help them get rid of their shortcomings. And, of course, they are ready to do for their half all the same.

A person with an attitude to growth knows that he, his partner, and their relationships are able to develop, so he does not make quick and thoughtless decisions, but works on all three elements.

1. Do you self-assert at the expense of others?
   If a person believes that his qualities are unchanged, then he has nothing else but to constantly assert himself. Including at the expense of others.

The possessor of the attitude to the reality can tell about his achievements endlessly and ask for compliments. Or unconsciously insult the interlocutors in order to feel their superiority (sometimes true intentions hide behind "harmless" friendly podkolkami). Think about whether this kind of behavior is inherent in you.

People with the attitude to the reality constantly compare themselves with others and get frustrated when someone is better than them. And how do you react to the success of your friends? Are you sincerely happy or uncomfortable and feel like a loser?

People with an attitude of growth do not compare themselves with others and do not spend energy to prove their worth. They just do not need it. After all, they live in a world of changing virtues, where one can develop and become better.

1. Do you develop in areas of interest to you?

People with an attitude to the reality can for years ignore their dreams, believing that they do not have the talent or the ability to do something. Usually they think that great artists, musicians, artists, athletes, scientists have already been born brilliant and their success was predetermined from the very beginning. But this is far from the case.

In fact, almost any ability can be developed. This requires a long and hard work, despite the setbacks that are inevitable in the first stages. It is hard, long-term work that makes ordinary people superprofessional. To be more precise, the price of mastery is 10,000 hours of practice. According to researchers, this time is enough to become an expert of the world level in any field.

Art critics unanimously assert that Jackson Pollock had by nature no special talent for fine art. And yet he became one of the greatest artists of the twentieth century. Can you guess what helped him? Surrender and extreme enthusiasm.

The biographers of Thomas Edison write that at first he did not stand out, he was a typical guy for his time and place of birth. Only an obsession with invention, assertiveness and attitude toward growth made him outstanding.

Even Mozart, whose genius is not in doubt, piled over his works for more than ten years before writing the first of those that today cause us admiration. Before that, the results of his compositional work were not so original, nor so interesting.

If you want, you yourself can easily find many such examples in life. Talent is practically irrelevant. The willingness to develop is what really matters.

If you always wanted to do something, but were afraid that it is not up to you, include it in your plans for the near future. And remember: you can achieve much more than you think.