Why being a jerk is often necessary

Well, because otherwise you're gonna spend a good part of your resources trying to impress a bunch of people who either don't give a crap about you or who are gonna gossip about you no matter what you do.

I noticed that kind of behavior on my parents when I was younger. They were doing their best to impress others, to always look like their financial situation was good enough even though it wasn't always, and to just seem like a happy little family that lived a normal life.

But after the "show" was over, after time and money were invested into impressing other people, you could clearly see all the worries, all the debt and all the real responsibilities they had that made their life not that enjoyable. But those didn't matter as long as others didn't know. Oh, but they did.

My parents always did everything to look good, despite the fact that other people talked about them behind their back. It wasn't always obvious, but when you spend time with people that only care about how they look like and how others see them, then it's obvious that they'll spend most of their time judging others, in some cases, my parents.

So then why should you even worry about things that don't matter? Why shouldn't you just be a jerk instead of trying to impress other people? Just because society considers that it's good to have a bunch of responsibilities that don't get you anything, because that's the "right thing to do"?

I decided, when I was around 16 years old, that I'm tired of trying to look good in front of others and that I should just focus all my attention on what I care about - my work. Since then I stopped caring so much about the clothes I'm wearing, about how I look, how others perceive me and how I act in certain scenarios.

That's when I realized how much time and energy someone can waste on a bunch of unnecessary behaviors and activities simply because others expect them to be somewhere or do something.

I stopped going to family meetings, to go to family parties, to funerals or weddings, at least when it came to people I didn't care about, I stopped spending money on really nice looking clothes and I just bought things that looked good and were comfortable, I stopped buying a bunch of useless shit to impress other people and instead I just invested as much time as I could into what I liked.

It's hard to explain how much free time you have once you get rid of all those "responsibilities" that you have, the ones others invented for you because they expect you to do certain things or behave in a certain way.

You finally feel free, you finally feel like you can have a bunch of free time, and besides the nasty looks you get sometimes and the "speech" about how you should behave properly and how you should be more considerate when it comes to what others say or think about you, life starts to be a lot better.

So, take a look at all the things you do that you hate, things that are your "responsibilities", things that make others happy but not you, and decide if the people you are struggling for are worth your time or not. In most cases, there are only a handful of people you should care about, and that's all.

The rest of them will expect you to do a bunch of unnecessary things and will talk about you no matter what. If you do something good, they will find a way to criticize you sooner or later. If you do something bad, you'll be the worst person alive. But at least, as the "worst person alive", you'll have more time and energy to focus on what you like.