Understanding before criticizing

Right before starting to write this I deleted another article I wrote (well, half of an article actually) called "Don't get easily hurt" where I talked a little about how some people are like "snowflakes" (fragile) and how everything in this world that isn't the way they want is hurting them.

I got that idea after reading two paragraphs from a Medium article, where the author talked about how it's not okay to call people names or be "hurtful in your communication". She also called that "verbal abuse".

If you're interested, you can read her article here: All Writers on Medium are Narcissists

Here's why I got "triggered" by that article - I don't like people who get hurt easily and more important, I detest those who blame everything around them for their "bad" feelings. Just because I get hurt by something it doesn't mean it's someone else's fault, and I may be the only one to blame.

That's why whenever I get "mad" at someone for saying something that makes me feel in a certain way (bad, for example), I usually take my time and ask myself if me getting "hurt" is a result of someone being a true dick, or it's just me being too "sensible" at hearing something I don't really like.

That made me write an article that was pretty... "hurtful". I'm glad I deleted it, and the reason I did it was pretty simple - I only spent a few seconds reading the work of the author who wrote the article I mentioned above and I never got past two paragraphs. I didn't know why the author called the person who criticized her a "dick" and I also didn't know why she got "hurt" and called the criticism she received as being "verbal abuse".

It felt wrong to write an entire article criticizing what Mateja Klaric thinks without actually reading her entire article. So I stopped what I was writing and I kept reading. And then I deleted my article, because she actually had a point.

She explained her situation, why she wrote that article and what her motivations and reasons were. I also understood why she acted the way she did at receiving the criticism (maybe because I'm pretty much in the same situation) and all the arguments I came up with in the article I wrote before this one seemed stupid.

I was actually the "offended" one, despite "accusing" someone else of the same thing.

That's why I'm glad I stopped for a second and I tried to actually understand someone else's point of view instead of just criticizing. It's easy to say nasty things about other people because it's easy to see the things they do wrong, just because you don't agree with them.

Getting "offended" is subjective and everyone has something that makes them furious. Some people are more sensible than others and get hut a lot faster. It doesn't mean we should criticize them just because we don't agree with them.

Next time you want to criticize someone, stop for a second and think about what you want to do. Is your opinion better than theirs? Is your way of thinking the "right" way, or are you just ready to say a bunch of things just because you don't agree with the way someone else approaches a problem?