Why people pretend

Having been around people who pretend as much as they breathe lately got me wondering, why do people pretend? Why has it become so rampant? I looked further into what they stand to gain or lose. You will agree with me that pretence is an attempt to make something that is not the case appear true.

Source
Pretence is falsification of situations and reality, putting up a false show. Now we all know that nothing good can come out of anything false. So I can say that the disadvantages outweighs the advantages.

In the first place, pretence is a phenomenon which has to do with personality. The personality of the pretender and the one on the receiving end.

Why a pretender pretends

Most times people pretend to be what they are not because they want to fit into the society, because they want to be accepted or in most cases they want to get over a feeling of low self esteem they have which is as a result of something or a hidden situation.

People also pretend because they want to outshine or prove that they are more superior than you are. Like my Nigerian brothers will say they want to shock you... *I remember back in school...during exams if you ask your friend or even the best student in the class if they've read and prepared ...the response will akways be No... some will even cook up stories such that you will begin to feel bad for them... At the end of the day you will realise you have been deceived..Especially when after exams you see such people boasting or discussing answers.

People also pretend because they want to get favours. Have you seen or encountered professional beggars? The ones that tell you they are on their way to a place and are stranded? The ones that act blind, deaf or dumb?

People also pretend if they want to hurt you secretly or if they want you out of the way. Maybe you have unknowingly become a threat to someone, maybe your boyfriend is trying to break up or is cheating.

Whichever you look at it, a pretender has everything to hide. Either about situations or about his/her personality, pretenders hide who they really are and this what makes them dangerous. They also have fake relationships, fake friends, an unrelaxed nature and a questionable way of life.

A pretender forgets that by pretending, he/she is alienating his/herself, no one can reach out to a pretender's soul, pretenders cover up their true needs unconsciously, thereby living an unfulfilled life.

The one at the receiving end

As an individual at the receiving end you must ask yourself several questions to ascertain what exactly the situation is.

Why should you be deceived? Have you in anyway through your body language or behaviour shown that you are not a trustworthy or friendly person? Have you been wicked? On the other hand are you a threat to someone or people? Are you being threatened? Are you being envied or ganged up against? Someone pretending around you might actually be a sign that you need to watch your back or watch your ways.

How to stop pretending

• Stop pretending because you are trying to please others, learn to say NO when you should. Let your real nature and self be open to all.

• Create your own path and walk in it, do not try to be someoneelse. Do not envy someone else.

• Do not be selfish, remember the whole world does not revolve around you alone.

• Pray and ask for help.

Pretending is a way of life for some people, it is part of their being but in the end, we will realize that being fake or being selfish can't sustain it will only detain.

What does it cost to be sincere?

brownySays