Emotional manipulator and how to deal with them ! Part 1
The emotional manipulator may be your boss, your colleague and even your favorite person. I am sure you know them. Everyone has at least one such known, and some, unfortunately, more. The good news is that if you set your mind to this wave, you can quickly recognize the behavior of the emotional manipulator and not distort it. Here's how:
Emotional manipulator has no sense of responsibility. He refuses to take responsibility for his actions. He always talks only about what others have done to him and there is never anything good. You will recognize the emotional manipulator easy, he will tell you too much personal information from the beginning. This, however, is the hook that will catch you on the pole. He will share with you things that are meant to provoke your sympathy. At first you will be deluding that this person is sensitive and honest, but the truth is that all this is done purposefully - to get "under your the skin" and start manipulating you. Emotional manipulator is usually not more sensitive than pitbull easy to see once he will be totally interested and caring and on next moment will forget you even exist. At the same time, he always has a problem with which to cope with the crisis he has to overcome. What you can do ?! Do we really need to answer ? Run .......as fast you can !
An emotional manipulator is always a victim. Imagine the following situation. You tell the man : "I am very sad that you forget about me." In reply, however, you will hear: "You saddened me thinking that I would forget your I just had so many things to do ...... I had to tell you how much stress I was in, but I did not want to burden you. You were right - I had to leave aside my problems and think only about you.""
There is nothing more to say. You have heard the word "Excuse me" and even something in you suggests that the apology is not sincere, there is nothing to do. What's more - now you feel guilty and selfish because you think "just for yourself". And suddenly you start to comfort the other. You are pacifying that everything will be fine. You say: ,,Is not that important - many more things are ahead ... ""
They manipulate you, do not you realize?
Listen to your intuition. If it tells you that the other is trying to get away by transferring the ball to you, just do not take it. Because on the moment you do it, it will repeat itself again and again ... Once you find out how it can affect you, the emotional manipulator will do it in every convenient case. So just say, "I'm sorry for your problems," and go ahead. With one mind.
The emotional manipulator skillfully gives you a sense of guilt. It will make you feel guilty about everything - that you are needing too much or that you are not needing too much , that you are emotional or that you do not show your emotions, that you are too caring and intriguing or that you are completely indifferent , if you care too much for detiles , and if you do not ... Absolutely anything can be used as a tool for your manipulation. Keep in mind that this type of people rarely show clearly what they want They never will say ,,I need more attention "- they are accustomed to achieving THIS by manipulating emotionally others. And since they know that most of us would do everything to get rid of guilt, they are willing to take it away ... to "free" you from it.
And one more thing: watch out for help and helping ! While they are explayning about some difficult situation, they will never ask for help directly. However, if you decide to cooperate with , be prepared for comments in style: "I did not make you do it," "It did not really have to be done" ... In other words , if you do not take part, you are guilty and if you join your help isnt nothing ! If they start blame you for your action, just say, "I gave everything from myself." And to avoid accusationions say: "I know you can do it better !
These people somehow affect the emotional state of everyone around them. When they are angry or pissed, the air around seems to get hot. Then you instinctively feel the need to restore the balance, and this is the easiest thing to do to comfort the manipulator and "correct" what is wrong. If you are too long with such a person you will become absolutely dependent on his moods and you will soon forget that you also have needs that need to be met. The solution is Just get out and pay attention to yourself because they won't do !
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Stay positive and many smiles !!!
@patelincho good one about emotional manipulators. Unfortunately, these type of people are in our family, work, friends and even neighbors . Better be wise and know how to deal with such people in a smart way. Thanks for your post
Probably is not easy , sadly we cannot fully stay away :)
Good point.
I swear you just describing my entire family tree in great detail.
Wow hahah :)
great post, thank you for sharing :)
Thank you for visit !
We are surrounded by these people in our everyday life! We need to know how to deal with them cleverly, I would say play the same game they are playing!
Cheers
@progressivechef
Yea this is why i text this .......... traying to play this game we become one ....
Being assertive is never about manipulating others. Assertiveness is different than manipulation, and communication is key for standing up for yourself. When we don't assert we allow it.
Assertiveness + Communication + Pro-activeness = Standing up.
As far you make the diference in assertive and manipulative !
Oh yes, I've experienced this first hand. I was in a relationship with someone like this for years. The worst time of my life.
Very insightful!
Is so hard to escape this people , glad you did it !
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Your post describes the kind of person most of us have come across in our lives. I think with my heart, so I end up falling for this, only to learn the hard way.
This leson can be learn sadly only from the hard way !
I've certainly been played emotionally and I can vouch for most of the stuff said!
Just try to avoid this people !
Emotional manipulator has no sense of responsibility. He refuses to take responsibility for his actions. He always talks only about what others have done to him and there is never anything good. @naz722
Yea so true :)
Most emotional manipulators come from people you are closely associated with. Eg., your boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, your boss or subordinate who wants to control your emotions to their advantage.
More or les all we have go try this situations . We have be manipulated or we try manipulate people ........ both things never end good