Greetings, Steemians and Steemettes!

Until last year, I never had an idea how huge the self-help and success schooling industry has become. I never really cared about those until some people I used to associate with really gotten into these things that I decided to take a look into it myself. I actually read one book halfway through that an old employer of mine lend to me. I also own a book myself which has been heavily suggested to me.

After having been confronted with these kind of topics, I started to do some research. I was baffled when I found out how many coaches there are for basically everything. They promote their own courses that cost X amount of money, publish books and E-Books regularly and hold events of sizes I never dreamed to imagine. All of them of course come from poor and depressing circumstances and were able to get out of them by either finding someone who tought them the things they are teaching us or by figuring them out themselves. Blessing us with these teachings, we learn about how we have to get in touch with our inner self. We learn about how we find out what we actually want and why that is the case. Along the way, we also become better humans who are more happy with what we are and what we have, being oh, so very appreciative.

I'm not buying into it. Maybe it is because of me just being me, but all of this sounds like a bloated mess without essence. I am a "no-bullshit" kind of guy, when I am dealing with anything, I want the substance of things and I want to see convincing and compelling evidence as to why something works the way it does or doesn't.

I heard you like lists

So here is a small list of reasons as for why I am so cynical about this topic.

1. Lack of scientific evidence

The content I have seen so far on these topics is always based on anecdotal evidence. You never see any actual science behind the things and methods this industry teaches. Psychological topics can be hard to properly formulate into hard scientific evidence, but it is possible, but you won't be seeing anything of that in here, making me naturally doubtful.

Of course, most people reading into these things aren't as cynical as me and actually want to believe what they see, so anecdotes of touching stories work just famously here.

2. Huge promises

Again, the cynic in me takes the lead. If someone promises me something that sounds like it is too good to be true, chances are that it is. Paying 10 Euros for a book that solves all my problems and makes me become more successful? A 200 Dollar course that helps me overcome my problems of anxiety and depression? A 4000 dollar coaching camp that will make me a better salesman? Skepticism is to be used in moderation because it can keep you away from actually profitable opportunities, but is to be used. Especially in cases like these.

3. Sincerely yours

I genuinely doubt the sincerity of someone who offers me help in dealing with my problems for a price. And that isn't limited to the self-help industry either, it also extends to the entire medical and psychological branches as well. What reason do I have to believe that someone who gets paid for "fixing" my problem has my actual well-being in mind when dealing with me? What point is there in an author solving all my problems in a free E-Book when I instead can get hooked up on the experience and buy a 20 dollar book shortly after? Or a course with a three-digit price tag?

Good things take time and effort, but this kind of treatment only takes time and effort and only offers the illusion of betterment.

4. It doesn't even make sense

So these books and courses are supposed to teach people how to help themselves, right? And that concept is absolutely flawed because there is no actual self-help involved. The individual is still dependent/reliant on an external source of "help" and advice. The industry prides itself in saying that they make people more happy being with/by themselves, enabling to stride steadfast through their lifes and enabling to deal with their problems on their own, but instead, the actually very opposite is the case. They make you dependent on them and their teachings. I'm not the only one seeing it that way, right?

Enough of the cynicism.

I am not a self-help-help provider myself, but I actually do want this blog of mine to be a place of positivism where my readers can either get something useful out of it or at least can go away with a smile on their face. So here are some things that I consider to be actually useful advise when it comes to bettering yourself or making you into a more functional, strong human being.

1. Forget about the self-help industry

Take the things I wrote above to heart and forget about it. It will not only take you nowhere, it will also push you back, making you an eternal student under a bad teacher unable to do anything.

2. Look for an actual mentor

This is one of the few points out of the self-help industry that very often get's overlooked and hardly if ever covered properly. All of these jesters who claim to be life coaches or whatever they may call themselves aren't exactly that, they are just salesmen of the highest tier. One thing they also have in common is that they had actual mentors who thought them the ins and outs on how to do business and present themselves.

If you look back in your own lifes, you will see that a lot of things you have done or picked up on that made you proud eventually in some way or form can actually be traced back to someone teaching and mentoring you. Every Martial Artist has a teacher/sensei who shows him the ropes, we all had teachers in school, most of which were terrible except for a couple few who actually left lasting impressions on us and sometimes, even people in our own demographic are doing things in a way that fascinates us. A couple weeks ago, I actually met a boy, 20 years old, who has already much more experience than I have when it comes to topics like drop shipping, making a decent amount of money with it and has also made interesting experiences with other topics.

3. The inner circle

You are who you're surrounding with. And more often than not, we unconsciously tend to surround ourselves with toxic people who are unhealthy for us in some way or another. People say that you can tell what a person is all about after having met his 5 closest associates. I think there is some value to that and I experienced that for myself quite a bit. I used to have a friends, one of my better friends as I considered at a time. Thing is that it was no real friendship. I was a convenient place for him to load off all of his emotional trash while he himself was unreliable and self absorbed. I distanced myself from him and found that it is better this way and when he approached me just a couple days ago, I told him the part and felt convinced that doing so is the right way.

Life is rather short. Too short to be wasted on people who aren't good for us or good too us. Cutting ties can be a hard thing to do, especially when there is a common history tying you together, love, friendship or just many years of companionship. But you need to be able to see past that in able to become the best possible version of yourself. And maybe you are doing a good deed in doing so. Sometimes, toxic people need to be shown what makes them toxic in order for them to realize and better themselves.

4. JUST DO IT!

I am no big fan of Shia Labouf, but the man was right when this meme-worthy bit of himself became viral. We humans excel at making excuses as for not doing things and I can tell you that most of them are irrelevant or wrong. There is no better time than doing things than now. You may be busy but you are not THAT busy. You don't have to know everything about everything in order to start. You will learn these along the way.

5. Aim for the moon!

People say that you are supposed to keep your targets small, reasonable and well formulated and achievable. I am mixed on that. A certain realism is of course appealing, but it is also limiting. My suggestion would be making a decent compromise. Set your final goal as high as you can possible imagine. But also plan for the stops you will take in between.

Taking this Steemit Blogposting and me as an example, I want it to become as big as possible and reach a huge audience. I also do understand that these things take time, so I take the journey one step at a time. I also make sure that I make each step I do as long and efficient as possible so that I can reach and eventually surpass my final goals.

6. Reading Non-Fiction is empowering

All things being said, you should still make reading a regular habit. From my research on the topic, the successful people tend to read a lot of non-fiction books, mostly biographies and books that hold factual information or teach skills. And there is a lot of value in this. Knowledge is power and empowering oneself is an actually good way to help oneself.

7. Reading Fiction is inspiring

With that being said, I do value works of fiction quite a lot. I have read a lot of fiction in the past, still do on occasion and must say that a lot of my inspirations and motivations come from them. As I told you in my post about dieting and nutrition, I actually got in contact with the whole topic of fasting only because a manga pointed me into that direction. The same can be said about other pieces of Fiction like Sherlock Holmes piquing my interest on topics like deep observation skills and so on.

8. Epic fail

Remember that failure is nothing to be worried about. It is to be expected and embraced because with every failure comes a lesson. Eventually, you will find ways to overcome the obstacles halting your progress and in doing so, you will get out of the experience as a better and more capable human than before.

Conclusion

The only thing the self-help industry is really helping is it's profit. If you feel fine with being a part of that or can say for a fact that whatever readings or coachings you have done on these topics have helped you, great. Don't let me take that away from you. For everyone else, remember that asking for help is no sin but a sign of strength. Just choose carefully whom you're asking. For your own well being.

More to come!

I actually plan to create a series of posts where I talk about fictional characters I consider to be heavy influencers on the kind of person that I am today. Some of them will be commonly known and quite popular, others may be a bit more obsucre, but I will make sure that the reading will be enjoyable nontheless.

That's it for now. Help yourself into having a stellar day and leave some comments while you're at it. I am always eager to interact!