The green grass is blue on the other side

When you spend the most part of your life living in one part of the world, you tend to believe that the whole world experiences life in the exact same way that you do. Because your thoughts and beliefs are reinforced by the people around you, you continue to live with the assumption that the whole world is just like you.

I must admit that this was the case with me for a very long time before I started travelling around the world. What was worse was that I had no clue that I was so clueless. I believed that I had watched enough TV to be able to understand what - if any - cultural difference may exist in the world. Boy, did I have a lot to learn. Unfortunately, I am not alone, I have met a lot of people who make assumptions based on what they think is right, without considering that what may be normal in their culture, could be abnormal in another culture. The green grass they know may be blue on the other side.

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I’ll tell you a story about a Colleague of mine at work. She was telling me about a woman who was introduced to her by a mutual friend. She said that the lady seemed nice, but although she spent almost 20 minutes trying to have a meaningful conversation with this lady, the lady never looked her in the eyes. She could not understand it. She said that she tried everything she could to get the lady to maintain eye contact but the lady just refused to do so. Based on that, she felt uncomfortable and ended the conversation.

I also remember a related story from about four years ago. I was in the waiting room of a Volunteer Agency which placed people in jobs around the city. This Volunteer Agency was very popular especially for new graduates who were trying to gain valuable experiences in order to be more attractive to employers. While waiting, I overheard a conversation between another potential Volunteer and a Recruiter at the agency. The Volunteer was trying to explain to the Recruiter that she did not receive the email that he claimed to have sent her the previous week which invited her for an interview. From what I could hear, the Recruiter was having trouble believing her story. He told her that he thought she was lying because she was having trouble looking him in the eye while telling her story.

Examining these two stories, there was one thing they both had in common. The people who were being addressed were Japanese. What makes it even more interesting, was what I came to learn later on about the Japanese culture. In Japan, it is considered offensive or rude to look someone directly in the eyes. Go figure! While in western cultures, making eye contact mostly denotes sincerity, the opposite is the case in Japan.

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So, if I am asked to make an educated guess, I would say that both my Colleague and the Recruiter had probably spent most of their life in one part of the world. They did not recognize the signs of someone who had an understanding of eye contact which was different from their own.

Keeping this story in mind, you may want to re-evaluate what other assumptions you have made about another person which might have been a result of a lack of understanding.

Thanks for stopping by. Chat tomorrow!