Could you be back?

Friend? What kind of friend am I? Is it still appropriate for me to be his best friend? I always need it, I easily force it to be in my hand. What if I don't need it? As I please I throw it into the ocean floor where there is no speck of light there.

The wind blew my hairy boy in a ponytail. My name is Risfani. Every time I go home from school like this time, I always approach this park. Sit under a tree while remembering various memories of grief with my best friend. Crystal is the name. We are the same age. We are friends when we sit in 4th grade.

Back then, 9 years ago. I cried alone here, away from the crowd because I lamented my bad luck. Friends, poor, not smart, and ugly. At that time, came the Crystal who introduced me to me kindly. Wipe my tears and offer a friendly relationship with him. Immediately, I accepted it. Remembering that I always pray to God to send me a friend.



Day by day we passed together. Where I stand, he is always beside me. And vice versa. Crystal is very different from me, she is beautiful, smart, good, and her parents are very rich. But he is always humble in front of me and everyone.

No matter how busy he is, he never leaves me. He who always gives me a shoulder to lean on, soft hands to get rid of my tears, and a warm hug when I feel fragile and slumped.

"There are no bad women, there are only lazy women," he said, who was entertaining me. That motivates me.

He will also never forget the day of my birth. Every year he always gives me a surprise that makes me feel touched and fortunate to have a friend like him.

Until we both sat on the bench at the final level of junior high school, I made a mistake. Our relationship is stretched because I am changing. At that time, somehow I was sick of him. There is a devil who always whispers words that make me hot cold. I am angry, jealous, and jealous of all that belongs to Crystal, beautiful, IQ above average, rich, and have parents who love him very much.

Plus, my friends always screwed me up and scoffed that I was just a parasite in Crystal's life, I was friends for begging for his property and such. Actually, I'm sincere friends with Crystal. I always ignored their words and Crystal also helped cover my ears.

But it didn't last long, the devil had mastered my body and mind. My eyes darkened to see the goodness of Crystal to me. I hate my best friend. From there, I used it. Make use of everything Crystal has. Make him forget his learning by telling him to do my schoolwork. Tell him this and that when I need it. And ignore it when he needs me. There is no such thing as spending time together in our favorite park.

He is stupid. When he will go to Austria and continue his education there, he writes a letter for me. He said he hoped that I would prevent him from going and still thought that I was a friend, the person he loved most after his parents.

"Risfani, I'm fine when you don't want to see me again and ignore me. You're still my best friend, forever like that. I love you so much, you're the one I love after my first parents. In the future, I hope to see you again when you are above (success), "he wrote in a letter before he left Indonesia.

Whereas the letter I just read 3 days after he left. I looked for it because it didn't show the nose for 3 days. I just realized that 3 days ago I threw a Crystal letter. That's when I searched for the letter with my mother and then I read it.

The handwriting makes me sorry. I lost direction and was weak. I'm stuck in a demon game. Since then, I cursed myself who was stupid. God punishes me for not being grateful and taking good care of His gifts.

Regret. That's what I felt all along, why did I waste it? Why was I so bad at him? Why did the regret only come when I felt lost? Is it still appropriate for the request that my apologies be received by him after what I did to him? Can I, can I be his best friend again after all my foolish attitudes hurt him? I'm selfish isn't it?

This has been 3 years since his departure, following his parents to move to the country of people. Austria.

Crying for my stupidity, sorry for hurting him, and enjoying the feeling of being tight from losing him. cursed me and missed him. That's what I did the last 3 years in our favorite park. The place where we witnessed was met by God.

Now I'm just a stupid girl because I let a precious friend just leave. Because of my stupid words I lost them. Because of my ego I have to endure this pain. I can only wait here, in a place that means a lot to me. I don't know when he's back in my life. I can only wait and wait for an uncertain arrival. I hope, he will forgive me again and I hope everything is as usual. And I promise, I will not do that foolishness again. No, I will also prove it when Crystal returns later.