[WE105] Private Affairs.

Topic:

Private or public recognition: On the occasions you help others, or do positive things for them, do you like or expect public recognition or do you prefer private thanks or gratitude. Explain why in either case and give an example.

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[Source]

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I've always been a private person and I don't really like anything that draws too much attention to myself, especially what I help others with. It's okay if they want to tell others what I did for them but I'm never the type to blow my horn or make a public display of whatever I do for others.

I grew up with the mentality of "Whatever your right hand is doing, never let the left hand know about it". It's a popular saying here in Nigeria that signifies people growing silently or making a difference silently without the need to make everyone aware of it. I believe whatever comes from the heart touches the heart and I don't seek my rewards from other fellow humans, I believe God and life have their ways of rewarding. It's etched in my mind that the moment I live for the accolades then it means I've gotten my reward already...that's how I see it.

I am not the type that is big on thank you. I can thank you from now till tomorrow for whatever gesture you do for me but I am never big on receiving thank you. I allow people to say it once out of courtesy but the moment it's getting frequent I tend to run away because I don't like being thanked so often. I have always been like this, helping people at random and doing things for others without making a spectacle of it. It keeps me humble and grounded so I don't want anything that makes me think I am more than I am because I was able to help someone. I've always believed that if I don't, I'm sure others would. There is nothing I have too that I haven't received, so if I have received those things why would I boast as though I hadn't?

I prefer a private thanks and gratitude only because I know the other person would want to be grateful but please, just do it privately. The world doesn't have to know. I've never updated anything I do for others on my status or social media pages. I can only do that maybe if it's an NGO and I know I am accountable to others that need feedback but as long as it's from my pocket, no one would know and I would even run away if I have to.

I have so many scenarios that I can point to but I would keep it short and brief. There was a time I entered a cab with this woman who mistakenly slammed the door on her own finger as she was coming in. She sat at the door and there was someone in between us. I told her sorry for her pain because I know how that thing hurts. I noticed I was close to where I would drop and I already heard where she said she would drop. I gave the driver the money for both of us and told the driver who it was for. The moment I did that, I looked away.

I felt her stare at me from the corner of my eyes and I knew she was trying to get my attention but I acted like I didn't know. The woman in the middle was the one who tapped me and I looked in her direction. She thanked me and asked if I know her or her husband but I told her no. She was shocked and said thank you and I was so eager to quickly get down from the cab. Thankfully, I did.

I prefer random acts of kindness sometimes because there is a higher chance that I would never see these people again so there is no way they can make a public show of gratitude to me. There was another instance with a young lady on a bike. In my country, way before now, two people sit on the bike. I sat behind the rider while this lady sat behind me. She dropped before me at a junction called UCH and immediately, I told the bike man to move as she was reaching for her purse. As the bike moved, I told her "Don't worry" and with her purse in her hands, she stood motionless on that same spot trying to understand why I did what I did without even asking for her details or anything. That particular one struck me the most people it looked like she has never been used to being gifted something without being asked for something else in return (just my interpretation because when the bike moved a bit more, I looked back and still saw her on the spot.

I can go on and on and on. Paying for one lady inside the cab made her follow me to my Church because she said she just got to my city and had been thinking of where to fellowship. She asked where I was going that day and I said Church. She didn't bother going home again, we both dropped at the junction and headed for Church. Another one that was a bit awkward for me was this lady that I had to quickly pay her money because she wanted to pay first. I don't know her then but she wanted to pay before her junction or mine. I had to quickly act and paid. That was how she started the friendly conversation by asking about my name, and what I do and started introducing herself while she gave me her phone to punch in my number. It was awkward because that would be my first time engaging anyone in a cab, well, she's still my friend to date but I wasn't happy I had to engage in a discussion with her after helping. I love vanishing into thin air hahaha.

There are so many physical ones too but I wanted to talk about those random acts instead because it's the one I love the most since I won't have the chance to see them anytime again... possibly...well...I haven't seen any of them again...maybe I did but I can't remember them anymore.

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Thank you for your time.

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Still me,

My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.

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