Stop Beating Yourself Up.

in life •  5 months ago

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In this world, we like beating ourselves up too much. Not like it is a crime to push ourselves too hard so as to reach a certain height, but when we hit rock bottom sometimes, we beat up ourselves unnecessarily. I am always a fan of going all out, risking and daring but when we fall too hard sometimes, we beat ourselves up and start blaming ourselves unnecessarily. It is good to count your costs, yes, but take it as one of those lessons you need to learn the hard way, then move on. Don't keep your life on hold over things you no longer have control over. It involves being deliberate with your steps and not just beating yourself up about it. When you hold back, it doesn't mean those struggles will hold back either.

We love fixing what is not broken but then, even a broken clock is right about twice in a day. You are not as broken as you feel, you are not messed up as you think and you are not the failure you thought you were. In your broken state is your humanity, and in your imperfection is your humility; when you are broken, it shows you are human after all and it makes you humble. Life has a way of humbling us. As much as we always tell others to evolve and not live on the glory of past achievements, it is also wise to tell people to stop hating themselves over a wrong deal, poor business deal, or whatever it is, that is capable of breaking our spirit and making us lose our confidence.

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When Jesus broke the bread, that was when increase came, when He fed the thousands with 5 loaves and 2 fishes and it was also until He broke the bread before the eyes of His disciples were opened as to who has been with them all along. These two instances points me to the fact that:

  1. It is only in your broken state that you can receive the answers you crave for.

  2. Only in your broken state can you see clearly.

  3. Only in your broken state can the increase you desire come.

I can tell you with boldness that, you are not as broken as you think and even if you feel you are, then expect increase, but you have to go through that process.

In life, process cannot be skipped. We grow through what we go through. When we skip the process, we can't sustain that success. Every stage is a learning curve but we are sometimes drawn to the lure of the success and we want to attain it by sudden flight. Shortcuts are not really short cuts because in the long run you end up being forced to go through that process in a more painful way when you skip it. Life is in stages, just like a staircase.

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Most of the times when we fail, we lose so much courage to get back up. We see ourselves as we ought not to. We lose our self esteem due to failure and we retreat. When we get asked why we stopped daring or risking, we feel the need to confuse low self esteem (due to numerous failures) for humility. They are two clearly different things. Humility is not seeing yourself more than you ought to, while low self esteem is seeing yourself lower than you ought to. Numerous failures end up breaking us but i am here to tell you today that, you are not as broken as you thought, and you are not a failure like you thought you were. You are going through a process and you need to enjoy going through it, even though it is a painful one, i must admit.

A guy that is unable to get a girlfriend sometimes think something is wrong with him. A lady that every guy leaves will feel there is something wrong with her and we end up losing self esteem and seek to fix what is not broken. Most of us have gone through it and more will still go through it, why? It is a process of shapening and not knowing this will make us end up giving up who we are. When success comes eventually, that success will find it so hard to recognize whom we have become and your whole self will begin to feel a sense of unfulfilment towards that success. Quit fixing what is not broken, you are only going through a process.

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Deep words bro @olawalium. Indeed some when some people get into some situations or come hard on themselves, they have the tendency to take a permanent decision on a temporary situation and end up realizing they have made another major mistake. Going through the process, we always come out more refined. Good post.

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Absolutely, my brother. We often times make permanent decisions over temporary issues which in itself is another grave mistake. I love that bro. Thanks a lot

This post is laced with souch indepth. God bless you @olawalium.

Sometimes, we are brokenness are noteant to keep us down, rather they are meant to let us see other possibilities.

The key is to think positive. I have often wondered if Isaac Newton actually planned to invent the light bulb, he probably had something else in mind. But with each try he finally resulted in inventing one of the world's greatest inventions.

Think positive, never give up and then we are open to limitless possibilities

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Sweeeeeeeet comment. You hit it right on the head there.

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Yaaaaaaaay!. Coming from you...i don blow!. Thanks a lot cutie heart.

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Lol, you are so not serious Olawale!

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Hahahahahaha. I miss you too.

Thank you so much for this heartfelt post.

We can do much more than we live ourselves.

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Absolutely. Thanks for your kind words.

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It is only normal to feel bad/sad about situations that doesn't go according to plan but the joy is in the strength to get back and brush past what put us down and also knowing that we are better and worth so much more
Thanks for sharing

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Absolutely. It is okay to feel bad, but we shouldn't be defined by past failures and mistakes. We should pick ourselves up and not beat ourselves up about it.