EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

I remember as a young 17-year-old boy I was so obsessed with the idea of 'purpose'--what it means to exist. I was reading through pages of books trying to find an answer.

why am I here?

I think we've all asked ourselves this question. It has led many to discover themselves, while to the greater majority it has driven them mad. Most people want to believe certain fallacies, which I will list below:

They are here for a UNIQUE reason

That their life is SPECIAL

These are ideas that are easy to implant in the minds of people. I am a Christian. I believe in fate and destiny. I also don't believe anything totally (well except JESUS CHRIST--and it's not debatable). When you believe these things it so possible to add other things to this said narrative--like having a purpose that's larger than life. No one wants to believe that their lives are boring and unexciting; that they will be relegated to one office for the rest of their lives; that they will sit down in front of a computer all day arguing with people they care little about. No one wants to think that way--well most people.

SO WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?

Well, I don't know and I don't care to know. My primary goal is to take care of my mum and siblings until they are all able to stand on their own and I can explore the world for myself. Try new things. There is no deeper meaning to these things.

Chimamanda Adichie spoke about the dangers of a single story in one of her Tedtalk. It's an idea she also hinted on in one of her books--Amaricannah (Oh God! Once upon a time I used to read). The thing is, when most people think about their lives or existence, they try to make it about one thing or person but forget that their lives constitute many important parts. I am meant to write this point--i am fulfilling a purpose but this doesn't define me alone. I am also meant to be a good bother, son, friend, boyfriend, etc. All these elements constitute what I describe a great and wholesome life.

When thinking about your purpose in life maybe it will help if you tailor it to the things you like. I enjoy my space and I am currently doing something that allows me to be in space while making money off the internet. That's why I can't stop, rather I would find more ways to do the thing I enjoy that gives me the opportunity to have the lifestyle I want. I also love may other things. Even some things I have no knowledge about like coding. It's something I will try out soon. It might not be a fun experience starting but the potential of working remotely and earning decently is worth considering. I won't be doing what I love in this case because I know little about coding but it will add value to others and at the same time give me the opportunity to be creative and work remotely from my happy place--home (maybe not all the time).

The thing is, I have tried my best to make my life as simple as possible. That's as a result of highlighting my core values--family, relationships, solitude, etc having all these things is enough for me. It doesn't mean I cannot aspire for more but I understand where my values and happiness lies so I don't give up too much for the unimportant things. Life is full of many distractions. It is easy to get distracted. We are bombarded with different information every day that overwhelms most of us. Most people want to fit in certain boxes and social circles. I don't care about that really. I really do make it a habit of not fitting anywhere. I already have all I need in this life. My only struggle is to have the resources to maintain those things.

If you're having an existential crisis right now, the important thing is to ask yourself the right question and find your answer.

What am here for?

If you don't know then maybe you should take a step back, examine your life. What have you done in your life that has made you happy? It might be the thing that points you to your path. Don't expect to find something life-changing. It might be something that doesn't fetch you money. It might be something you want to do for free. Your life isn't solely based on how productive you are. Money and economies affect all our lives but it's not the only thing or the most important thing.

Find your happy place.

Life means nothing if you do not enjoy the experience and happiness isn't something that is constant. You have to constantly seek it and redefine it.-