My New Year's Resolution: Quit Steemit

in life •  9 months ago

Usually, these decisions are hard to make.
This will be an easy one for me.

NoNamesLeftToUse - Finito.jpeg

That is my cover image. It says, Finito.

I think that's a fancy word for finished.

I wanted to dress nice for this moment, so I did.

Since you can't see what I'm wearing, I thought I'd just use fancy words.

They Say

New Year's resolutions are hard to keep. Most fail. Many people know they're full of shit long before they even say anything. I guess they don't take themselves seriously.

You all know I can be quite stubborn, when I feel like being stubborn. If I say something, I do my best to put my money where my mouth is. I don't let my mouth write checks that my ass can't cash. I think I heard that on Dr. Phil once. I don't watch that show. I hear his voice sometimes because other people watch. I try to tell them to change the channel but they just get angry and tell me that if I don't shut up, I'll be on that show someday, talking about how traumatized I am years after getting my ass kicked.

I made that up. Nobody talks to me like that.

Anyway

Yeah. I guess this is it. I know damn well I won't be breaking this New Year's resolution. It doesn't require work. I'm actually giving myself all kinds of free time.

Maybe I'll go work at the plant. I think they're still hiring. I'm not sure I can be around that much weed without being tempted to take some home though. It might be a bad idea. Normally, one can simply steal weed from someone and they can't call the cops. Things are changing. This legal stuff is moving in. It's considered property now and property theft is typically frowned upon.

Or maybe they give some away for lunch breaks.

Moving On

That's what I must do.

Something is starting to feel a bit off though.

I'm noticing my fingers.

They're moving at a high rate of speed. I hear clicking. When I look forward, I see words appearing in front of me. It's really weird. Every time I think of a word, it appears in front of me. What the hell is going on?

You know what! I think I know what I'm doing!

I'm already fucking up my New Year's resolution!

One day! I couldn't even make it one full day!

Well whatever. There's always next year.

So

I guess I'll see you folks around.

Try to go easy on me. It's not fun being such a failure. I'm sure you know how it is.

Have a great 2018!

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"Next year, I'll try harder!"
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If I had a job waiting for me at the weed factory, I'd be quitting Steemit as well. Can't blame you, bro!

I'm chuckling so much, I started coughing. Way to help me clear my lungs. I knew you were full of it right from the start with this one, lol. But yeah, resolutions rarely happen, but I am planning on keeping mine (I hope). Thanks for the laugh, as always :-). Btw, we prob don't want to see what you're wearing (chuckles again).

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I just sit here in my gitch all day.

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It amazes me how many do not read the posts completely before they respond. I just read the comments (face-palm). At least those who know you get it, lol.

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This is a special form of humor I guess. Really hard to pull off in writing. I'm basically just putting myself in the shoes of a moron. It's self-deprecation humor. It's even tagged and says that right there! LOL. Oh well. I expected that. Knew it would happen! It's part of the fun.

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I Tried to Leave You

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Leonard Cohen. Another fine Canadian artist. I tried finding one of his that I liked awhile back, to respond to this. I don't know the name and I cannot even begin to describe it. I have this foggy memory of a sound I can't seem to put my finger on.

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Well, then, maybe this matches your situation better anyway. Just come right out and admit defeat as your opening gambit:

I Can't Quit You Baby

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You know what though? If I truly wanted to quit, I'd leave in a blaze of glory, call you all horses, then play this one.

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If you called me a horse - I would stamp my feet and pout.

Nice song. Hadn't heard it before.

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First time I heard it, I was nearly traumatized for life. If you combine that song name along with Jay and Silent Bob into google. You too will feel my pain. I do like the song though.

Finito .... and just as I start to follow you. That's just grea, just great.... (I read the entire post several times)

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Always read the fine print!

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My eyes are gone. I can no longer read the fine print. And I have to read the Large print many times before I get the jokes.

Dude!! This is the first post I come to and for a second I was like "You fucking kidding me?" And was about to slam the laptop shut LOL

Yeah, I don't make New Year's resolutions. I decided a long time ago if there was something that I needed to change I wasn't going to wait for January 1st to do it.
Glad this was a spoof.

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LOL!! Look at how many natural emotions I'm able to create with my magic, some days. This was that classic me joke. Leading you all down the rabbit hole while you get to slowly watch things fall apart, then BOOM, I hit you with a funny.

I'd never be able to pull something like this off without advanced knowledge about how frickin' amazing my friends and fan base truly are.

Cheers to another year!

Glad to see you're not really leaving. I was a bit worried after reading your posts about being frustrated with the vote buying.

I'm glad you've decided (voluntarily or not) to stay. Steemit needs real people making real content in order to succeed and grow. Otherwise it will just be a bunch of bots posting crap and a bunch of clickfarmers commenting "me too pls upvote for support".

I stopped making new years' resolutions years ago (well, only 2 years ago). I just make resolutions now. Decisions to be better shouldn't wait until a new year. Not only is it "just a day", you have a bunch of enablers lined up for when you inevitably fail. "It's okay", they'll say, "we can all be failures together!" Blech!

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The whole thing was just a joke. It's not the first time I've pulled this prank either. It wasn't even inspired by the events that took place. I had this planned long ago. I have a place where I store ideas. These ideas are always popping up in my mind, so I write down just a quick one liner. When I need to write and can't think of something on the spot, I go to that list and build from these little bits of madness I hold onto.

I already vanished in the past from this place. I won't be upsetting these people like that again. If I ever have to leave I'm taking care of that professionally. I won't just up and quit. Even when I left, I knew I was coming back. I just didn't know when. A lot of my life goes into this blog. Sometimes there's not enough life in a day.

I don't make new year's resolutions either. My goals are set. Yeah, sure, there's a lot of stuff I should be doing. I'll do it when the time is right. No point in forcing it. That's why they fail.

“Steemit, I wish I knew how to quit you”

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Apparently it's really hard to quit this place. I've seen so many do what they were calling "Steemicide", then returning like it didn't happen. Which is cool! Funny too. Still cool!

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I know a couple of the people who "rage quit" that, no, to me anyway, it is not cool nor funny that they are back. It is much closer to being annoying - but I don't have enough respect for them to suffer annoyance. The most I can come up with is contempt. Oh, well. They have been on my ignore list since their triumphant returns.
.

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Yes. There are some people, I know. Some days I wonder why we can't vote people off of the platform, responsibly, like they do on some reality TV shows.

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Ah yes! The Steemit addict that goes to the 12 step program to kick the habit only to got back on it. My name is Troy. I am a Steemit addict. Well hello Troy. One of those damn 12 step rooms. At least you do not get cancer from it. Only cataracts if you stare at the screen to much. Happy New Year!

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Hi Troy!

They sure like to get excited in those meetings. As for the cataracts, I try to blink in between blinks.

Happy new year!

OMG you make me worry sometimes...you wouldn't dare leave us again! I will not survive a third disappearance.....not again no...see! Now you made me drink again...

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Ha! Gotcha! Happy New Year prank!

Have one of those drinks for me. Seriously though. You knew it was a joke. You just weren't sure! Magic.

xD , the tag "self-deception" is hilarious, don't know why that tag made me laugh so much!

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Self-deprecation. I wanted to make it clear this time that I'm joking in a certain way. This one is so hard to pull off in writing. I'm glad you got a chuckle here!

😢 are you just the first one? Is this just a beginning of the fall? Is the Steemit community destroying itself?

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Did you read the post?

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I guess you are quiting Steemit.

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You're messing with me!

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Never, you broke your resolution already.
You are not quiting! 🤣🤣

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I'll quit if you keep confusing me! LOL

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Ahh, now if you realy quit it’s gonna be on me and all of your followers will step on my head.
Please tell everyone that you wouldn’t quit because of me and please don’t mention my name. I would realy appreciate it.
Your devoted follower @milano1113 the LION!

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I'll think about it.

I am glad you are shit at your resolutions ;O)

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LOL! At least I try though! Some people don't even try! Look how hard I tried!

Finito is finished in Italian, it is not a fancy word- anyway, I forgive you :P
What happened to "this man" character?
Happy happy!

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Finito sounds pretty damn fancy to me! LOL! I was just being an idiot... I enjoy that. Thought you would too.

This Man will be around. If I did that often, nobody would care!

YOU SCARED ME FOR A GOOD 20 SECONDS!!!
Please don't ever leave steemit, the flow of your words and oxymoronic language is a joy to read.

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Did you just call me an oxymoron!

Screw you guys! I'm going home!

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:O hahaha

Yeah, you only just got back! Can't have you disappearing on us again so soonn. Happy new year!

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No. I don't want to go. A break will come, eventually. This Man needs to rest! This whole thing. What I'm doing here. It's magic. I'd never quit something I love to do. When I was gone, I wasn't happy. I came back and my life changed overnight, again, and for the better.

Happy New Year! 2018 already! Truly amazing.

better luck next year

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Thanks! I'm going to practice all year. Everyday. I can do this. If I keep posting for months and months, daily... just know, I'm trying my best not to!

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I totally get it. It's an affliction, I have a touch of it myself.

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I know! Just look at all the damage I'm doing to myself and all of you around me! This isn't fair! To anyone! Even the people who don't get the jokes!

Nothing intelligent to say. Just each one of these is totally me right now...on so many levels:

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Here I am... failing at life... again...

And all they do is laugh!

Thanks! LOL!

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Hey man, you know what they say about laughter and medicine. Best shit out there when you can't take more fun medicine cause you're knocked up :-P Totally random, and my god am I feeling mid 30's by asking this lame ass question but is your screenname (is that even what's it's called? Jesus) somehow a tribute to No Use For a Name, the punk band?

Or maybe I'm just making connections that aren't there LOL

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I enjoy that band. It's been awhile since I listened. Thanks for the reminder! Your spidy senses or whatever those are aren't far off.

The name and the band aren't related though. It was about 2008 ish. I was becoming frustrated with online sign up forms. "We're sorry, that name is already taken. Would you prefer to be cooldude2453459 instead?" Apparently, back then, everyone was a cool dude. I'd try something else. Same thing. "We're sorry blah blah bluh blah wah wah wah wah waww." So, I thought I would get smart with them. I already knew what they were going to say, so I told them before they had the chance to tell me. NoNamesLeftToUse. I was only allowed 16 characters so I made the most of it. I pressed enter... and suddenly became NoNamesLeftToUse. I guess I was wrong. There was one left but I took it. Now there aren't any left.

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Same lol. But I'm sure I entertained the hell out of the college kids when I did for nostalgia's sake the other day: 30 something highly preggo woman, blaring it from my CRV, singing along and drumming on my steering wheel like it was 1998.

That's too funny though on the origins of your 'name' - totally deserves its own post! :-P

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I'll still put in something ridiculous like Insane Clown Posse. Loud, having fun. Red light. Shit. I better turn this down, these people are going to think I'm mental. I'm not sure if I'm getting old, or courteous, or maybe I just don't feel like being dragged out by the police for some odd reason. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. Maybe I'm just rambling.


Ya know what.. that's not a bad idea. I'm not sure if I can drag that one out long enough to make a complete post though. I mean, I could. Hmmm. It's a good idea.

P.S. If you ever need a laugh, my blog is full of them. Jam packed. Enjoy.

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It's old age causing courtesy, dementia,paranoia and rambling. I suffer from it too sometimes.
While most of my old school driving blares are punk, metal, or anything from 60's -70's..When it's Biggie I'm always super careful/courteous about. I'll be rapping along until he says certain words that no white person should say...it's awkward.

Maybe I'm just awkward. But I care a lot less about that as I get older...grumpily settling into the 'kids these days' mentality. They make me listen to their god awful trap 'music' or auto tunes pop crap in their new BMWs (presumably paid for by mommy/daddy) - I'm gonna expose them to a red light's worth of real music lol

I noticed ! Pretty sure I've upvoted a few - even if I haven't commented. I'll think you are my 'medicinal laughter guy' now (no, not that kind)...lots of serious stuff on Steemit. It's rare to find truly funny - in the world, let alone on this site!

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I'll use every word in the book but for some strange reason, I too find it difficult to rap alongside the Wutang Clan. That's life I guess. Mysterious.

I'm glad you took a moment to stop in today and say hello. I'm always down with getting to know you folks out there who are enjoying my stuff. Makes all this feel so much more alive. Real. I hope it stays this way for a long time. Smug Youtubers like to brag about how they don't even read the comments. I'm talking to you, Joe Rogan! ... but if you looked at his comment section, you'd understand why.

Humor is rare. That's why I share!

Man, you really suck at New Year's resolutions. Man, I really suck at Steemit comments.

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Man.... so much suck. Think I'll go crawl in a hole now and die. Wake me up in spring.

The about of nonsense going around from steem only being worth $3 at the time is unreal. I fear what a $10, $50 or even a $100 would do to this place if that ever happened. I guess I’ll start buying some gasoline and matches right now for my New Year’s resolution. Cheers!

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This place is about to erupt! In a good way. I'm glad I saw the value in 10 cent STEEM, worked my butt off, while so many others whined and quit. A twenty cent post back then is worth roughly $10 today.

Lmao omg haha I came here after reading what you wrote! Good one
Happy New Year

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Happy New Year!

Haha, good one, If it meant to be comical, if not I apologize. Btw new year resolutions do not work, because if you WANT to change, why wait "new" year.

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It was meant to be humor and tagged accordingly....

It's not fun being such a failure. I'm sure you know how it is.

you may probably perform better in 2018 keep up! do not give up, be strong. you are not a failure

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I know. That was a joke!

Ha. Ho. (sigh)
You really TICKLED my Funny bone today ♦♦ I can sincerely say I truly enjoyed your Humorous post.

Will Share with you something I found re: New Year’s Resolutions

15 Funny New Year’s Resolutions:

https://humoropedia.com/funny-new-years-resolutions

The one I liked (2 actually) :

"A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other" ... and Also this 1, because of my spouse being a member of SMPTE (Society of Motion Picture & Television Engineers ) :

"My New Years Resolution is 1080px".

Go have a Peek.

AND of course, HAPPY New Year !

From: Jan A

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Thank you! Happy New Year to you too!

I learn something new every day on Steemit. For example, I had no idea that weed could be considered as property now. That's a new one on me.

I don't make new year's resolutions because I see no point in lying to myself or to the rest of the people in my little corner of the world. I'll still be the same person I was a year from now, with a little more grey hairs, a little more friskier and frazzled around the edges! =)