It Has Been A Rough Few Days But Since When Is Life Easy?

in #life2 years ago (edited)

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
And you can't expect to impress everyone, all the time.

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I feel like yelling my head off!

But I won't.

Has anyone else here noticed we live in a world of hypersensitivity? Have you noticed how we've replaced the high five and congratulations on all your success with I can't believe you did that thing I don't like and you should be fucking fired so you live the rest of your days feeling miserable all while I'm applauded for destroying the life you worked for!

It seems everywhere I look, someone is trying to bring someone else down. These days, it's all over the news. I think it's Dave Chappelle this week. Last week it was someone else. Next week it'll be more of the same.

And don't blame society for this problem! That would be wrong! It's those individuals and these isolated incidents that get blown out of proportion because society has nothing better to do than sit on their devices all day and look for things to complain about. It's not us. It's them.

That kind of bullshit started for me when I was quite young and I had to learn the hard way.

All I did was flush doorstops down the toilet.

I was only nine years old.

How was I supposed to know flushing chunks of wood down the toilet would eventually clog up the school plumbing system and cause a flood?

I would have got away with it too, if it wasn't for those damn kids.

Long before the flood, I thought it was funny, so I showed a friend. He walked all the way to the second floor to get the door stop he flushed. Of course, once the school found out what caused the clog, my friend's guilt got the best of him, so rather than taking the fall, he blamed it all on me. I got in trouble after admitting to it. I knew that friend was the only other kid who knew about my twisted hobby, so I slapped him with my baseball glove first chance I got.

He told on me for that one as well.

I got two more weeks detention added to my sentence because once a rat, always a rat. Only a friend can stab you in the back.

Lesson Learned

Can't trust anyone. Time to grow up.

So there I am in my early twenties thinking I know everything, while I'm busy recovering from injuries I didn't even know I had.

My mid to late teen years were all about hockey, where I had my bell rung plenty of times. I lost a few fights as well. Not every fight happened on the ice. Sometimes I had too much to drink, or found myself surrounded by people who couldn't handle theirs.

The last fight I ever lost ended with me slipping in a parking lot outside of a bar, hitting my head on the pavement, then receiving kicks to the body and head. The guy was wearing heavy boots and some say the beating I got while already down and out lasted for over a minute. They had to load me up on a stretcher. I nearly died.

Recovering was a bitch. I could feel something was wrong with me long after the bruises healed. Every day I'd wake up with anxiety and depression. I always thought it was my pride that got hurt.

So there I am, in my early twenties, still feeling the effects of that fight I lost, while trying to hold down a job. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I'd be calling in to work, "sick," at least once every two weeks. I couldn't get out of bed, couldn't face the day, didn't even want to live. I kept all that a secret. I just told people I wasn't feeling well. Headache, toothache, flu, diarrhea. Name the excuse, I used it.

Then the coworkers treat you like trash.

They think you're faking it.

Now it's the adults who have to start being little tattletales. You'd think at some point this shit would end, but it doesn't.

Calls in sick and expects us to do everything! Calls in sick but I saw him driving! Calls in sick and then you see him at the bar on weekends!

Well, you'd drink too, if that was the only thing that made you happy.

So I'm sitting there, about to get fired. Finally, I spilled my beans. Yeah, I'm sick. Something is wrong with me. I don't even want to live. I've been this way for years. If you want to fire me for that, go right ahead.

Instead of firing me, they gave me a number to call, so I called. The voice recommended doctors and counselling. They gave me more numbers and addresses.

Instead of doing any of that, I decided to fake everything was fine. Forced myself to go to work, even on my worst days. Started working out and riding bicycles. Eventually I tricked myself into feeling good; then I actually did feel good.

Found out, years later, because of all the recent studies on pro athletes and the publicity that received, it was the concussion I suffered. Apparently those brain injuries can linger, causing problems down the road like depression. Depression can cause one to make decisions that make life difficult, and that can then lead to more depression and anxiety that makes life difficult.

So that's gone.

And so is the relationship with the mother of my kids.

Years of lies snowballing into more lies. The cheating. The stealing. I'm not depressed anymore. I have self-esteem again. So why do I need that shit in my life?

So now I'm in my mid twenties, trying to start fresh, after years and years of bullshit. The goal was to focus on me, my job, my kids. Nothing else mattered.

So there I was, all alone, and let's not forget I tricked myself into feeling better. Had the house to myself and couldn't stand it. Couldn't even look at the doors that once led to their bedrooms. Everything good was a memory. Hated my life. She moved out, took the girls. After a month I gave them the house, found my own place. Then I'd work, get home, drink. Couldn't live without at least a six pack of beer. Couldn't handle the silence. Needed to be numb. I can barely remember age 26-30.

Nobody knew I had a severe drinking problem that only got worse. I hid it from everyone. Do you know how alone you have to be in order to hide a drinking problem? My kids saw the bottles but they just thought daddy likes beer.

Every single day was a hangover. I was so good at hiding it, I was promoted three levels, and making good money, by the time I realized I was addicted to alcohol.

I remember loading up on beer.

Then heading to the lake.

Two weeks vacation time to spend with my kids at the cabin. Good times.

Came home to an eviction notice posted on my door.

I was so fucking functionally out of it, I didn't pay rent on time.

Wake up call: Time to quit drinking.

The shakes and hallucinations were easy to deal with. Hearing voices sucked. That only lasted a few days but it felt like an eternity. Did it, all alone. Then I'm sitting there, with a mind finally ready and room to think. I didn't like my life. I worked sober for five months. The job was terrible and I didn't even notice, for years. It was all just one big drunken comfort zone, so I quit.

Had a pile of money saved.

Was living rent-free at the lake.

Those were some of my best months of being alive. My entire life up until that point was just one big blur of mistakes — but I was so fucking happy.

How can this be?


Society is miserable.

Sitting around on these devices, waiting to pounce on a mistake. Ready and willing to drag someone through the mud and make their life a living hell until it becomes unfashionable. Then move on to the next target!

Rinse and repeat.

Whether it's someone famous or the guy down the street. Doesn't matter. Everyone screws up and it seems like society forgets that when they make the mistake of rubbing it in until it burns. How many more people have to be destroyed before society figures out this won't bring them joy?

Most of the time these folks haven't even done anything wrong and if they did, holding them down won't stop them from coming out on top.

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Life is not a cake, my friend. Stay focused and keep good memories and you'll be fine.
Stay away from people hiding behind devices and live YOUR life.
Some people on blockchain care.

There's a lot of good stuff, too. Life isn't perfect but I'm working towards something good, making mistakes along the way, like anyone else.

This blockchain thing has been good place for me.

What is true is that people are quick to judge. You blame it on devices, I think that current society has made everyone more insecure of themselves. People project their own weaknesses onto others and somehow it makes them feel better. A pretty dysfunctional psychological mechanism of defense, but unavoidable in a world which has grown weaker from the educational system, the poisonous food, debt, opioids and sold-out mass media.

The people behind the devices is who I'd blame. It's a trap and even though I see it happening and think it's a waste of time, I can still fall in if I'm not careful. I try to stay away from the "sold-out mass media" but even then it still finds a way to creep in. I enjoy comedy and understand the artform. I'm seeing a lot of jokes being taken seriously lately. That's not how this works.

The devices are conveniently there for our first reaction. If we had to pull out a piece of paper and write a letter, by the time we were done, our second thoughts would have kicked in. The letter wouldn't make it to the mail.

I hope you're getting time at the lake now. I have many friends who need to spend time out in nature. It's almost their religion.

You're right. Knee jerk reactions. Technology makes those easy.

I get a bit of time to be at the lake. Not enough though. Still plenty of other places to explore.

I hear you. The family cottage is a long drive for me and there is a whole world yet to be explored.

you're scaring me but you're one of the person i want to know from steemit.

What did you do? Did you collect psychiatry clinics patient archives? (kidding)

I like your stories.

I'm not scary. Or maybe I am, and that's why it's so damn quiet here today.

You are not scary I am scaring while reading your posts😊😅😁🙏😬👍👏

You have a very interesting life. It seems like a lot of creativity could come from the various stages. So are you still in the so fucking happy stage living at the lake? Society absolutely does make people miserable. Whenever a hurricane comes near me I end up staring at facebook a lot because the local groups give lots of useful information. Once it passes the habit has to be immediately broken or I notice a rapid decline in my happiness. I have not had that issue here, but I don't follow any steem politics - that makes me happy.

Also noticed what a creative block society makes. When I start worrying about this and that, the writing doesn't flow. I write on a Word document before posting anywhere, which seems like a place of privacy. We all need that space from all the opinions.

I hope your next few days are better.

I've been to a lot of places since then. Made a few more mistakes since then as well. I'd never be able to fit it all into one blog post. I don't really need to be happy all the time though. Trying to be that all the time is a mistake. Just be. Good enough.

I try to avoid being spoon fed news and entertainment. It does end up taking too much mind space. Lately I've been browsing though. Sometimes the mind space needs distractions.

Agreed, we aren't meant to be happy all the time. So long as the misery doesn't last too long, it all works out.

A toiled flood could've resulted in damage worth tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars. It must have been a very small flood.

It was ground floor and most of the problem leaked into the gym. Wasn't that big of a deal, only affected two washrooms. The school was strict though. Getting in trouble there was a big deal.

That was a good read. If that is all true that is quite a life for only in your 30s.

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Yeah it's true but I left out a lot of details. Plenty of stuff in between and after as well. That's life though. Only one choice and that's to live it.

Interesting... We all have histories some are cleaner...

I could probably switch things up and pull out only the positives and my life would probably sound pretty damn perfect as well.

Jesus. People are Dicks. Simple.

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It's true. Ever been through that phase where you pretty much hate them all? I think I have. Gotta be careful with that though or we'll just end up like them...

Wow! You did a lot of living and dying young.

Now here you are. Glad you've found peace.

Can I disagree, kind of? Or not even disagree, but I think there's a caveat.

Firstly, I absolutely agree, we gotta and oughta be kind and understanding of mistakes. Help folks get through it, because they don't necessarily have the resources they need. That should always be the goal when someone fucks up. Help them do better.

But when it's a public figure, they have the resources. So you gotta be sure they're doing it on purpose. The only way you can help them be better is by joining your voice to a thousand others to hopefully break through the bubble of Fame.

There's a lot of power in fame. It is therefore an obligation of the famous to use their power wisely and responsibly, like Spiderman.

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You should have seen the time I got ran over by my own car...

It's a tough one though. On the other side of the coin, some of these famous folks are right in the mix, encouraging this bullying and public shaming. These comedians constantly getting grilled... if they're performing, taking them seriously is much like being angry with the bad guy wrestler. Roseanne got slammed before she even got a chance to tell her side. So many artists get treated like politicians, while the politicians get away with all kinds of crap.

If you're not angry with the bad guy wrestler, then you're not having fun.

;P

Social justice warrior douchebaggery is to blame...

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I don't like it when you try to make me cry

Shit. Was I cutting onions again? My bad.

Damn right!

The weirdest part of this post is that I always thought you were in your 70s. Something to do with the Rep? Maybe. Don't know. But you certainly didn't make it any easier by sounding like an old soul all the time!

And here I thought you were a tiger and I was tripping out, hearing voices.

I think a lot of societies woes came about shortly after Freud. Telling and convincing the average individual to commit a partial lobotomy by killing their ego, while making sure the leaders and movers and shakers keep building their egos and making damned sure all the egoless people know they have one.

I know a few people are going to take that and defend the fact that people need to get over their ego's, sorry I still think those people need to grow an ego, and be real men and women and stop letting other people tell them what to do, how to do, and when to do it. When you kill one third of you, the ego, and are left with nothing but your ID and Super Ego, then their is an imbalance, and society is very imbalanced today.

You "Fixed" your self, not some boot lick white coat socialite.

Yeah it's hard to get life on track when there's a problem, if you don't even allow your self to see it. You need a sense of accomplishment as well, to be proud of yourself. It seems like a lot of folks these days can't even tell the difference between confidence and arrogance. One's good, the other is annoying.

Woah, that took some reading. It's a dog eat dog world and that's how it is.

Me, I'm a contractor at work.. no politics as I'm simply a disposable asset. Do the work, move on to the next. It pays rather better too. You should try it.

Too long for a blog post? I trimmed it down. Maybe too much. Was it hard to follow?

What I had mentioned here was all corporate, where every boss has a boss. Those shit talking backstabber butt kissing types just made it easier for me to move up the ranks once I put my mind to it.

I don't talk much around here about my life these days or what I do. I stay busy. Too busy lately.

Too long for a blog post? I trimmed it down. Maybe too much. Was it hard to follow?

No, I read all of it. Can't say I have ever been beaten to a pulp around the head for a minute. Did you experience a near death?

I'm not too sure what I experienced. I was unconscious but snapped out of it eventually, after they were worrying I might stay like that for much longer. I remember a voice. These memories are hazy now. That was a long time ago.

Brilliantly honest. I agree with you too. The whole media machine is teaching and celebrating narcissism, and the blame game feeds into it.
A great read.

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