RE: Musings on Old Age and Death
This is a deep post. We are often afraid of talking about death, when death is synonymous with life. It's sad to see how things change and people who were strong are now weak and dependent. I really like what you said about now pitying him. It would be a pity if you didn't. I have never understood why most people leave their aged parents in homes. When we were young and dependent, they didn't put us in a place to be raised. We were not a burden to them, so why do we see them as a burden now that they need us. If a person puts their parents in an old people's home, their children would do the same to them when they are old. And the cycle will continue. Of course not everyone has the means, but I think it has now become the norm to do this, even for those who have the money or the convenience. I live in Spain, and old people are active, either live with their children or grandchildren. And they socialise with other old people in the neighbourhood. They are not institutionalised, and as they are in the last chapter of their lives, I believe every old person deserves to be surrounded by family and not be treated like an outcast. Having said that, I believe your father is one of the lucky ones as your sisters visits him every day. Thank you for sharing that personal story.
Actually, I don't agree with you. My father is much better off in this (very expensive) full care home than he would be in a relative's house where it would be impossible to give him the same level of care. If the old style of large extended families all living together in a single house/compound was still in place that would be different. But modern society has broken up extended family residences into nuclear family homes and the trend is to break up even those into government/societal control over the raising of children. Heaven help us!
I respect your point of view, and as you said, it's difficult to have the whole family living under the same roof, especially now that traditional families are under threat. What a world we live in.
I find death more reassuring than eternity, and that of the people I have known affects me more than the idea of my own death.
Without death and old age, how to imagine what is going on in the Middle East, I am moving away from the subject of course!
We all have a sort of eternal feeling, believers or unbelievers, the one that will follow our death.
I agree with you. I firmly believe that parents will be happier if they can be with their families, even if the family service is not as special as the service of an orphanage. in fact they parents will spend the rest of their lives with family, I can not imagine their feelings when at the end of their age away from family.
Thank you. I also think it's the better option emotionally and physically. For example, one of my grandmothers lives next door to her daughter and grandchildren, and although she has a full-time carer, they visit her in turns all day, everyday. So she is emotionally fulfilled, even though she doesn't have them living with her physically. However, things are changing and what used to be easy 30 or 50 years ago, is no longer possible for everyone, especially financially.