Hi and a big thank you @sophistryproof! Yeah you got in one. That's how I feel. I find the most tragic consequence of this scenario is not so much my persoanl unmet aspirations but the fact that I'm robbed of the time that's needed to maintain quality relationships, especially at home. It feels shallow to be away for almost 12 hrs a day. That becomes more like a housemate scenario than a family. I have to accept that this is how it is for now and just do what I can with the resources I have.