"He is a reliable sort for an afternoon snifter despite being cursed with a face like a well skelped arse." That made me shoot coffee out my nose - ROFLMAO

"A man like me buys stallions and each stallion he buys has to prove its worth by fighting me naked in the pit." Oh shit, stop it already!!

Ok, I've stopped laughing enough to finish this comment. Ok, I can give assurance that I won't be asking any questions about the Thomas.