Punshiment for beeing stupid kid and idiot.

in life •  last year 

TL;DR
I get my punishments all the time. I... I just wanted to have nice life. I thought, I find man, who will be my friend and it will be okay. But not. It's worse. Oh god.. I'm so fuckin' stupid! I thought I can be happy haha. U know. ME... HAPPY... Laughing so hard. I watch on people and see them happy. Then I think, I can be happy either. But sth just cut my back and talk to me "no". I always think I will be good woman and happy and etc. I was little and I didn't know about life. Now, I'm kid either, but older and life sucks. I have complain to my parents, why I was born. When I will commit suicide, nothing's change, really. It will be one problem less. It will be better for everyone and I know it.

I gave people so much time, happiness, conversation and all of u cut me. I had a lot of scars from knife, which u cut me.
I have almost 22 years, I'm stupid bitchy kid, but I don't wanna live here anymore, really.
I always think, when I will be in hospital, someone visit me. And u know, I was stupid. Hahahaha. Oh god.

Now, I lost everything and everyone, what I had.

I don't have a reason to be here. Life was my punishment for these shit I got and now this punishment is enough for me. I was betray, cut, rape, bulling, beat. I gave my heart for men and what now I have? Nothing.

I'm so sorry I'm stupid. I trust people and u see what is end. I got nothing. I'm sad and I'm crying.

Some man said, he trust someone and doesn't have anyone, but he has two people and I have no one.

What I do for valentines day? Cry. Funny. I thought Steemit will be my therapy, but it's not working. Psychologist will not work. I wrote about my bad feelings. And it's happen. I'm enchanted. I lost my mind and brain. What I've done... I screw up as always. FUCKIN' STUPID BITCH! In situations like this I always wear small hairband on my arm and it's always pain. This's my second punishemnt for beeing stupid kid.

Maybe people are fine, just I'm an idiot and I hurt everyone.

Sorry for stupid wall of text, I had to. Like I wrote, I don't have anyone to talk or call or write about it.

THE END.

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