Punshiment for beeing stupid kid and idiot.

in life •  last year 

I get my punishments all the time. I... I just wanted to have nice life. I thought, I find man, who will be my friend and it will be okay. But not. It's worse. Oh god.. I'm so fuckin' stupid! I thought I can be happy haha. U know. ME... HAPPY... Laughing so hard. I watch on people and see them happy. Then I think, I can be happy either. But sth just cut my back and talk to me "no". I always think I will be good woman and happy and etc. I was little and I didn't know about life. Now, I'm kid either, but older and life sucks. I have complain to my parents, why I was born. When I will commit suicide, nothing's change, really. It will be one problem less. It will be better for everyone and I know it.

I gave people so much time, happiness, conversation and all of u cut me. I had a lot of scars from knife, which u cut me.
I have almost 22 years, I'm stupid bitchy kid, but I don't wanna live here anymore, really.
I always think, when I will be in hospital, someone visit me. And u know, I was stupid. Hahahaha. Oh god.

Now, I lost everything and everyone, what I had.

I don't have a reason to be here. Life was my punishment for these shit I got and now this punishment is enough for me. I was betray, cut, rape, bulling, beat. I gave my heart for men and what now I have? Nothing.

I'm so sorry I'm stupid. I trust people and u see what is end. I got nothing. I'm sad and I'm crying.

Some man said, he trust someone and doesn't have anyone, but he has two people and I have no one.

What I do for valentines day? Cry. Funny. I thought Steemit will be my therapy, but it's not working. Psychologist will not work. I wrote about my bad feelings. And it's happen. I'm enchanted. I lost my mind and brain. What I've done... I screw up as always. FUCKIN' STUPID BITCH! In situations like this I always wear small hairband on my arm and it's always pain. This's my second punishemnt for beeing stupid kid.

Maybe people are fine, just I'm an idiot and I hurt everyone.

Sorry for stupid wall of text, I had to. Like I wrote, I don't have anyone to talk or call or write about it.


Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!