I wrote this letter when I was 15: A letter from a young girl to a friend: When times are hard maybe you have just not looked at all the options

Over the Vacation Period I came across a letter I had written to encourage a friend. I could not believe how articulate I was even then. Some minor language mistakes but the letter puts across all that is important in facing rejection. I wore this then I was 15years old. I have no recollection of why I did not post it or to whom it was meant for. I am however, very glad that my parents kept my room as was so I could find the little gems I found when I decided to go through it.

So here goes the letter. It is a bit long please bear with me.

It is titled " HAVE YOU SUFFERED REJECTION"

Dear you!
Receive many greetings from me. Although, with very little knowledge about you this is nature that we meet and have to communicate even to those we do not know. This is my message for you.

Life holds much that we have to undergo. one and the most challenging is rejection. As teenagers, old adults, young adults and even as children are capable of suffering rejection. This might be in the basis of family, friends, teachers and at times our environment fails us completely. We fail to understand what is happening to us and in the case of this many may result to drugs or suicide. The two are never substitutes for rejection but a mere waste of time trying to deal with pain; which we end up realising a little too late. I once sat down and thought of my life. Thought of rejection I had experienced, people I had seen suffer from the same and this is what I came up with.

Rejection on family basis

Parents, siblings and extended family are in general people we like very much if not love to the moon and back. And as we do so we would also like this reciprocated, We want them to do things for us, to tell us what we mean to them. Accept us as who we are . Make us feel that we belong and we are loved. When reciprocation is not shown we tend to think the worst, that we are not loved. In school you work very hard so as to try and get that acceptance but it never comes. You expect your parents to remember your birthdays you want a birthday bigger than your friend's but you do not get anything even a card. You cannot believe they forgot. But in most cases, you are not hated, people show love in different ways. And what you want maybe your parents cannot afford. Your parents definitely want to see you do well in school. They love you and maybe they just do not know how to express it; some of our parents grew up in a different era, some of these things were not said they were shown. Again we cannot all get what we want, at times our parents simply cannot afford it.

Rejection by friends

Many of my friends in school are not my friends because i do what they like. It is in me that I should never always try to please another human when it is almost impossible to. So I stick to my principles and most of them have affirmed me for that. Anyway U am not trying to boast/ blow my trumpet but in our friends there things that we look for. They are our companions away from home and school. We all love to have friends but at times it proves difficult , this is especially so if your language is poor, your dressing is not like theirs, lack of opposite sex friends, your family is not well of as theirs, poor grades, e.tc. This compels us to change our behaviour and character in general sometimes for the worst to gain acceptance. You want to join the famous and popular clique in school; you start learning (sheng') at the expense of your good english and swahili, start putting on clothes that start late and end too early, sneaking out of school and home to clubs and boys houses. This will then end up completely destroying your character and you realise too late when you are already lost. Because you wanted to fit in but did it the wrong way.

We can get good friends who helps us be good, better and have good character. People who add value in our lives luke showing us how to solve problems in maths, helping us grow spiritually. Friends who leave us better than they found us. Friends remain friends forever if they keep adding value to each other. They should give us freedom to be ourselves , love us for who we are and correct us when we go wrong. Good friends always challenge each other wisely. Always affirm each others values. Always recognise others mistakes thus correcting one another and always. They encourage one another. These are the friends we should strive to have. Do not fall a victim of loving people because of their popularity, or what they give you love them for what they are in your life and help them grow to their best too.

Suffering rejection from home and also friends at times leads us to be remorseful and this contributes to reduced concentration in class and your class work. We start hating everyone and we do not get what teachers teach. We fail to ask questions when we do not understand, we wne up failing in exams. Teachers try to help but you in a place you cannot be helped.
The ripple effect to this is you feel more rejection, fed up with life and your environment. Everyone and everything is an enemy. Many are the times we hear of people commiting suicide because they feel they have reached the end. They are at rock bottom. This should not be the case. Trust in God He can handle all this for you.
Life is unfair and not only to you. To all of us in some way. We need to be focussed, to have goals and visions for hich we are determined to work towards. Life is a race a journey with an end goal of each of trying to get the goal medal. Only those who do not quit, those who are persistent and consistent become the best and get those medals. You are smart if you believe you are. You can do the best just like those call the best do. You only need to do it wholeheartedly and to your very best. If in class you get 60% and the other 100%, there is no need to sweat the small stuff. We are different, unique and wonderful wonderful. If you did your very best for 60% continue doing it. A fish cannot be a bird, you are definitely better at something 100%er is not good at.

At times I wonder at all the vanity of working so hard for things we will leave behind when we die, maybe even to spendthrifts who do not care about this wealth you created. They spend it all in record time and it is forgotten. I am however, encouraged to know that it doesn't matter so long as I did my part. They can waste away maybe that is their purpose. "Now make sure that as your parents provide for you what you need you will be able to provide for your kids even better "(my dad's words)

We should never give up because for all the troubles we go through we have the keys to the solutions, books, people with experience ready to help us. Practice to ask for help. Start even with a math problem for in due time you will be able to open up to what is eating you inside. Remember Everything you do do it to your level best, we reap what we sow.

Thank you
Mutitu Munene

Note: When you read this even another close friend of yours could do with the advice, remember to share.

Reading this letter, I feel I was a young girl with a vision. I really never understood why I had been chosen to be a peer counselor and school. Maybe it had to do with my ability to put points across. What a gal!

Thank you for visiting my blog. Join me next time for more.

Here are some causes and projects I follow and support

---

@boosterke for SteemitKe

---

CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE STEEMIT BLOGGERS ON DISCORD

---