I also went through something similar recently. A relationship that was not going anywhere, and it was not doing any good for neither of us. I just love how you said this "It is hard to hold onto something you don't want". It is tiring to let go, and it needs a bit of time to heal. The body needs to recover from all those intense negative emotions. Just know that by letting go of something or someone you do not want, you make room for what or who you really want to come forth. You just had to release that mental space first. Congrats on having the power to say NO.