What are The Hindrances to Love and how to overcome them?

Love is all about connections you make with people, places and things. In fact, you can make connections with all kinds of substance that exist on earth.

Besides loving your spouse, parents, children, relatives and friends, one will also love Rome to be their destination for honeymoon. At the same time, they may also love the food like Italian Macaroni Pasta as their favorite food.

What are some of the factors that will put a stop to love?

• Disconnected Mindset:
  A person with disconnected mindset is someone who often makes false assumption about the situation. When they are invited to a party where people are having great time mingling around with others, they would probably think people are not genuine and that these people come with ill intentions. Though it may be true to some extent, it is unhealthy to perceive that way because it kills the purpose for the night. They are just disconnected.

• Fear of Rejection:
  When a person sees fear of rejection bigger than anything else, they are really losing out the opportunity to make connections with other people. They may reach the level of communication, but it is almost impossible for them to develop the connection further to communion.

• Incompatibility:
  This happens when there is a conflict in opinions, often in conversations. Have you ever been in a situation where you did not talk much but to listen to the person who is talking in front of the group and yet, you disagree with him? It is not your fault. It is not his fault either. Both of you are just difference and when incompatibility happens, it may hinder you from making connections.

• Lack of Social Skills:
  Some people have no problems finding common ground with the people they met but they are just pretty weak in social skills like talking and expressing themselves. There are many factors that result in this – family background, lack of confidence or the character of not having much word. This too can kill the connections between you and others.

To overcome above lacks, one must do effectively connect with each other.

• Connection Exercises:
  This exercise requires you to do something which appears to be silly but is extremely powerful. This is how it is done – imagine in your mind you are meeting up a person. The person can be someone you know, someone you do not know, your idol or even fictional character like Bart Simpson. Once you have a target, you just need to practice talking to the intended person in your mind. Start by saying anything you like, such as “Hi, How are you?” and imagine the person is replying you, “I am great, thanks! And you?”. You can also go deeper by sending the person love by giving compliments to him or her. “You are amazing!” or “You are beautiful” are words you can use to send love. In the same way, you can imagine you receive compliments from the person saying, “I like the way you speak!”. Although you are not talking to anyone in reality, but it equips you to get ready to converse well when the opportunity comes.

• Time-Travel Meditation:
  Imagine you are in a room with someone and that someone is the future you in 5 years time from now. As your future self knows everything of you, and you can ask him whatever you like to know. For example, “What will I be in 5 years time?”, “Who would be the people I meet in 3 years from now?” or “What am I likely to fail in doing 2 years from now?”. Once you have done this, imagine your future self walks out of the room and you start to invite your past self of 5 years ago to come into the room. He then starts to ask you questions on how you have been doing for the past 5 years and you attend to each of his questions. Once finished, imagine your future self comes in again and 3 of you start to become translucent. The three of you start to float in the air and merge to become one body – the real you. The purpose of this exercise if to help you to understand you are not just a physical moving object but a human being that achieve great things in this lifetime.

• Sharing:
  One of the best ways to make connections is to share love with the people around you. You can share this with a group or to a person. You can share anything you would like you including money, time, effort, attention, meals, clothes, shoes, cars or even a room. When you share, you bridge the gap of distance between you and the intended person.

• Fast-Forwarding:
  If you want to speed up the process of knowing the person deeper even when you have just met, this is a great tool to use. Imagine in your mind that you have known her for a long time and you guys talk for non-stop. The conversation involves heart to heart talk and you two are able to share just about anything with each other. It is basically a day-dreaming exercise but absolutely powerful.

• Appreciation:
  Learn to appreciate the contribution and accomplishment of others. You may not know the person very well, but when you show genuine appreciation, you are already bringing the connection to another big step.

• Gratitude:
  Never ever take people’s kindness for granted. Be grateful to the person who is nice to you. Even at times he does not expect anything in return, it does not mean you can abuse his kindness. If your friend borrows you a car for a few days, please fill in the gas tank to the top of the tip for courtesy’s sake.

Reference: Balancing Love, Truth & Power
images: source