How to Stop the Unwanted Behaviors of Others
Most people often find themselves engaging in "I'm not sure I can stop" type behaviors. In other words, instead of just trying to stop the behavior there is an internal message that goes something like this: "I can't stop. This behavior will keep happening and if I don't do anything about it then it's going to be difficult for me to stop." The person in this example really has no idea how much control they have over their behaviors. Instead of attempting to stop the unwanted behavior in the hopes that it stops all together, the person in this example is more likely to engage in one form of behavior until that behavior becomes such a habitual response that it is something they don't even consider doing any other way.
We all experience things in our lives that are far more challenging than this example. However, the idea that someone can simply "not give a damn" about how their actions affect other people is problematic. If a person does not care about how their actions have a ripple effect even upon those they care about, what value does that have in society? It is very important to recognize and understand the fact that each human being on this earth experiences emotions that are unique to that individual. One person's behavior may be completely understandable while the other's behavior may be completely irrational.
This brings us to an important point. People must learn to control their behavior. This is not as easy as it sounds but once a person learns how to do so it makes their life a whole lot better in every way. It is possible to learn how to change a certain behavior but it is not always possible to control every action of a person. However, what you can do is learn to control your responses to situations that occur within your life and how you respond to those behaviors.
Often times it is the way in which we react to a certain behavior that causes the other behavior to take place. If a person allows their anger to consume them instead of controlling it then that individual will often find that their relationships suffer because of the animosity that is present. If a person feels that they are being ignored or treated unfairly then it often happens because of that animosity and that same resentment.
The way to control this problem is to learn to focus on the way in which you are feeling rather than focusing on the behavior of another individual. Anger causes a person to do many things including leaving a message for whoever the person is angry with to ensure that they hear it. Instead of leaving a message it is much more beneficial to focus on what you are feeling instead. You can even try taking deep slow breaths as you observe the way that the person is acting. This will allow you to control your emotions much better.
Sometimes anger is caused by a situation that an individual finds uncomfortable such as going into a new place or even speaking in public. In these cases there are a few simple things that you can do to control your reactions. First of all try to find a quiet location where you will not be interrupted or faced with someone's unwanted behavior. Try to focus your mind and attention on the activity instead of the person who causes you irritation.
Another effective way of dealing with a particular person is to simply ignore them until you have calmed down. This method may be difficult to do at first but over time you will become used to it. When you become accustomed to ignoring a specific person then you will find that you can ignore them longer until they no longer bother you. It is also important to realize that when a person begins to annoy you then they are testing your patience. This is something that many people do not associate with anger but instead associate with frustration or impatience.
When you find yourself in this situation instead of simply trying to stop the unwanted behavior you should immediately begin to diffuse the situation by talking to the other individual. It is important to maintain eye contact while speaking with the other individual and also smile at them. This will allow you to relax a bit more and eliminate any chances that the person may be testing your patience. If you are able to follow these simple techniques then you will be well on your way to learning how to stop the unwanted behaviors of another person.