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The standard heliocentric model of revolving at a thousand miles an hour and hurtling through space in a helical pattern chasing after the sun at many thousands of mph while the sun circles the milky way at an exceptional speed doesn't make sense to me. Shouldn't that mess my hair up?

I would say the hair should be a mess and the stomach may not feel so great either.

I suggest reading about Erastothenes and his elegant experiment that conclusively proved the spherical shape of the earth in 200 BCE. Go look at a pendulum in action to experience the rotation of earth. No sane man has ever thought the earth as flat for the past 3000 years. The concept or term "flat earth" was coined by the mediocre American writer Washington Irving to mock the Catholic church in one of his ludicrous fictions.

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