Saying NO

Almost forty and just learning
To say no and ignore the guilt.
No to the concert I know I’ll despise.
No to the party I know I’ll be lost in.
No even to my spouse who wanted
To try a new café far away.
The traffic will kill us, I said.
Can we just go to the local pub?
A little extra guilt on this one
But eventually the no came out.
Ah, why wasn’t I like this before?
So many years spent saying yes
When I really wanted to say no.
My heart must be thickening;
Oh, the miracle of this word;
No to the world is yes to one’s soul.
Yet, so hard to say. Why?
Manufactured guilt over
Misplaced responsibility.
Nothing more.
Must say no more often.
Must say it and say it
Till my soul breaks free.