I'm 21 years into the same relationship scenario as you. IWe started dating the first week of our college year--I was 18 (he was 19). This year I am 43-years-young, mothering our 13-year-old son.

So yes, this has been going on for TWENTY-ONE years, which means this is still ongoing, not over. No we're not together, we don't even live in the same state (1 hour 30 minutes apart).

In some cases, the bond is unbreakable. It is possible that you'll both look-up, as the years pass and you grow comfortable and at peace in the "break-up," and find that your relationship and bond has not changed--despite everything, despite your lowest moments.

Marriage doesn't bind people, time, respect, patience, and passion does. I feel sorry for any woman who dates him, she'll always be second-best, and 21 years has proven that.

Again, this happens for some people, not all. Years may need to pass before you know for sure. Time tells.

So be good to each other, so you have minimal regret and embarrassment about your actions during your "break-up" when (or if) 5 years from now you decide to stay together one way or another.

I love this man more than I ever have, each year I love him more and more--but don't tell him I said so ;-). Life has failed at trying to tear us apart. He is my soulmate. And nothing can change that, but I often wish something would come along and change it; hell, I've tried everything I could think of to change it. None of it worked.