Meeting Yourself: Getting familiar with the Software in your head

Have you ever wondered why you couldn’t stop grabbing that cookie box even though you solemnly swore last New Years that you will lose those pounds?

..Or why you found yourself yelling and screaming at someone even though it was obviously making the situation worse not better?

Last but not least, has it ever happened to you to be so eager to achieve a goal or buy something expensive, hoping it will make you happy ? … and yet, before you even enjoyed it, that happiness feeling was gone and a new restless and dissatisfied cycle has already begun?

These are the daily manifestations of our “inner software” that was installed and perfected by evolution during hundreds of thousands of years. To be more precise, our latest software update , the one we’re operating now, has been about 60.000 years ago.

So the short answer to the 3 questions above? We’re using the Windows 7 at a time when our computers are supposed to be mining for Bitcoin.
The conditions of the modern world are so light years away from the environment we came from originally that the software that used to run so smoothly in the past now experiences bugs and glitches daily…

Since we’re all stuck with it anyway, we might as well try to understand it…

I. The primary goal: Protection and Survival Above all..(even happiness, tranquility, meaningfulness and everything else you say you want and find it hard to obtain)

The software was designed for the soul purpose to keep you alive.
It is the only meaningful variable for it and does not take into account the nuance of what we now call ”quality” of that life.
So when you feel discouraged to pursue some dream or make a speech or take any meaningful step that involves risk of failure and potential social embarassment, it is a twisted irony that the software believes it is actually successful at protecting you from harm.
Great job, mind!

II. The rules of the algorithm : Only 2 basic laws in the brain's Rulebook:

1) Now is more important than Later

In the old environment tomorrow most likely never came for most of our ancestors, so this became an operating rule of our system: whatever happens now has far more influence on your decisions and behaviors than some distant future consequences that may never come.

Why give up the sense of strong pleasure that I can get NOW from that cookie for the abstract idea of being fit in the future? Why miss on the opportunity to get a good cathartic feeling by screaming at you NOW, and we’ll deal with whatever abstract consequences later?… And the most common ones: why study, save money, exercise…inconvenience myself in anyway NOW for some distant benefit that the rational part of me says I might get in the future?

2) Avoiding Danger is more important than getting Rewards

Under the Protection and Survival Act, perceived danger of any kind is the most abhorred thing for the mind. If you give the smallest bacteria some “bacteria goodie” and at the same time create a slightly toxic or unpleasant environment before it can reach it , that little bacteria will run with all its nonexistent legs away from the reward, deterred by the unpleasant factor and just happy to preserve its life..

Since we have in our software far too many lines of code in common with that bacteria than we’d wish, we will sadly experience the same predilections: Why speak up and risk your place in a group for the abstract reward of “telling the truth” or “doing the right thing”? Why subjecting yourself voluntarily and repeatedly to the trauma of being judged and laughed at by others in order to become a better public speaker, writer or singer?

So the software wants to protect you, to keep you as far away as possible from any perceived danger and to indulge into the now at the expense of future benefits.

How does it do that? I’m glad you asked…

III. The mechanism of control … and this is better than a Hollywood twist:
Using The Carrot and the Stick motivation that we think WE have invented!….
Everytime you approach a situation deemed “dangerous” you get hit by the internal Stick of Anxiety or a Rain of Arrrows known as Doubts, Fears & Insecurities. Dumbfounded, depleted and demoralized, you retreat into the comfort zone, the “Safe” software-approved Area. That’s when the carrot of relief is given or other pleasurable vegetables that let instant gratification happen at the expense of later, and mission is accomplished for Mind.

IV. The Conclusion:

Now that you’ve gained a grasp of how your inner software actually operates, if I were you I would feel many things… Some Confusion, some Amusement at the ironies, maybe a bit of Relief that comes with more understanding…
But most of all you should pay attention to that flicker of Pride… A newfound sense of Pride that sometimes, only sometimes, I do NOT act according to my software’s rules , and those rare glimpses are when I am really in charge :)

Picture sources :
https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/cartoon-brain-illustrations_798005.htm
https://utahmentalhealthservices.com/therapy/cognitive-therapy/