What's Your Deal Mindhawk?
The system wants you to think it is you that is the problem. That everything you think or do that is in its way is a matter of your own, personal, individual, exclusive dysfunction and that everyone else gets along just fine with this.
Many in the system do internalize its values and in the isolated corridor of their home -> work -> home routine find few experiences that call those values into question. If homeless people were allowed to build their tent cities along the highway, that might be different. If evictions were broadcast the television as if they were an extremely important event for everyone and not just those going homeless and those hired to do the hauling and maintain order with guns. If every death from preventable cancers, stress or depression were announced with a giant horn and megaphone, maybe. The system hides its dysfunctions just well enough so that its functionaries in their daily corridors can pretend they are not there, and spends a lot of resources to do so, because the system knows its fragile.
Everyone makes a wrong turn down 6th street once in a while and sees it, or hears about the mass high temperature sprayings to attempt to deal with the ubiquitous hepatitis virus infection of every surface. This allows them to both know it is there and not know it is there, eases the contradiction that lets them think this system is working for everyone just as well as me, and the ever growing numbers of those whose lives are threatened daily by it, many who have been driven actually insane by it, are really just bad, weak, low-value, people who deserve what they get.
You are the sympathetic one in your Honda Accord Coupe SE on your absolutely jammed 12 lane highway for hours a week. You are the sympathetic one as your are asked yet again to lie and be demeaned by your corporation. As you are continually expected to be silent while your alleged superiors take a crap on the world for other people who are steam shovelling it.
It is true that I would have done many things differently in my life, i.e. not said this to this person, or not tried to be friends with this person I should have kept my distance from. But they are not generally things that I could have been certain about beforehand. The people who betray you don't ever look that way from the beginning. Some of the people I have known were dangerously insane from the start, and I tried to avoid, still became huge problems anyway. Some of the people I have thought were my friends have actually turned out to have been completely deceptive. So yeah, with hindsight being so 20/20 it's easy to say, gosh I should have known better.
I think about the people who have harmed me, who have betrayed me, who were deceptive, they knew what they were doing. It was conscious. For them it wasn't a mistake, they made a choice to be bad people and intentionally deceived me. It wasn't just a mistake, they are really bad people and they do not intend to change or seek forgiveness. The numerous people who have gaslighted me, doing the most insane shit while pretending they are some victim when I raising my voice to call them out, knew what they were doing and chose to do so, they were not tricked or under some circumstance where they had no choice.
Gaslighting and crass betrayal should be added to the fucking Star Spangled Banner already, it's so endemic in the USA.
"The land of the gaslight and the home of the betrayed..." doesn't have a ring to it, but it's a lot more true than the fantasy of freedom and bravery.
@mindhawk started out as u/mindhawk, but really it started on yahoo newsgroups using my first broadband email account in around 2000. My girlfriend and I just wanted to go to festivals and play and listen to music in the woods. There were a lot of festivals, I was playing in bands. We were part of a weed legalization organization and I would talk about why I thought the drug war was stupid on stage and say things like we have to be good citizens, which means thinking and talking about stuff.
Knowing what I know now, all of our meetings were heavily infiltrated and people were intentionally bringing up ridiculous distracting things at our meetings, causing arguments, etc. I thought that the movement itself just brought kooks. I got freaked out about how I didn't want to be only able to talk about that one issue, and how I was perceived as some idk stoner idiot. I just saw where my entire identity was trying to be a leader of just that and I didn't like it. I didn't like the people I was having to interact with. My girlfriend was more effective leading it when she took over anyway.
I became a lot more interested in media issues. I made a short film that took 2 hours of CSPAN footage of Bill Orreilly and demonstrated how he contradicted himself 20 or so times. He said he never yelled at people, then he yelled at people. He said he was always polite, he was rude. He said we need small government, then he demanded a huge government program. Just a complete joke. I wrote a play where a rich white guy like idk one of the Koch brothers was chained to a chair in the center of the stage and young people came out and interrogated him about the economy and trickle down economics.
For a few years I was obsessed with the idea that the internet could be an ideal place for having public arguments, but only if an organization existed such that they would be perfectly devoted to actual argumentation without having any other thing to say. This was 2000-2004 probably. I mailed some manifesto to a bunch of people in manilla envelopes, warning everyone that if normal corporate and governmental rules were going to apply to the internet, then it would be dystopic, filled with lies, and well, what it is today.
All I wanted to do was take a budget to make forum software that would be resistant to what are now known as Sybil attacks. I tried to design the software myself but it turns out, I hate programming. I tried for years to design websites and learn php, and I had some background from my C and Java courses, but I would always get up in the morning and write something like This, or play music. Every once in a while I get this bug where I think 'now I could be a programmer if I just took another java course.' And I have to remind myself.
Needless to say I lost my girlfriend somewhere in between, when I had given up on just about everything in 2005.
I just had to drop the Internet Debate Council idea because it was consuming me and there was nothing I could do about it, I moved on to writing short stories and screenplays, started taking standup comedy and acting seriously as pursuits, and got better at repairing computers, and then eventually knew enough to be a network administrator for a small city and sys admin for a douchebag silicon valley threat intelligence startup.
About the time I gave up on my idea though to make an ideal arguing platform, was about the same time Reddit was being founded and they were dealing with the same issues, and in every way Reddit has gone the corporate, government-co-option route. Only one in twenty accounts isn't a paid operator. Reddit's forums are practically a corporate sponsored international sport for dynamic content automation strategies. They now advertise to the people who actually create their content, as if they weren't all known to be shills anyway, but see this helps the numbers they need to show advertising buyers that real people are there.(see, advertising ruins everything, always. always.) There is still no way to effectively sort your own posts or organize content. It is just a hose of official data with manipulated vote count numbers. How many actual humans have to upvote something for it to say there are 10 upvotes? (I treat reddit like a Jerusalem based american news source, in the same way I treat Zerohedge like a Moscow based source, and as long as I keep this in mind, I can derive actual knowledge from them.)
The internet we have today has always been my worst nightmare, what I was, we were, trying to prevent at the beginning. Always watching you, always storing you, always lying to you from every possible angle, a pure panopticon where you never know if you are being watched. And if you know you're being watched, then you better not tell anybody else or they will simply run lest the same fate befall them. Whether you are american, russian, chinese, or dutch person, this is the nature of the future unless we stop it.
When I first typed mindhawk into the reddit account creation, I was really surprised it wasn't taken, and also had no intention of keeping it forever. I thought I would try on lots of different usernames, but I never really did.
What happens if you do this, is that whoever on the other end is psycho-analyzing people who are 'political' then build this huge profile on you that you never get to see. So I guess I'm saying most everyone else should probably avoid that from the outset if they can. I was however too trusting.
I am kindof obsessed with the authenticity thing though, where I want you to see my evolution and know how long i've been writing on the internet and actually know that whatever psych profile is held on me is actually my prank that I am playing on them at this point. It's hilarious they have to read this. I can sit here and the most dangerous thing I have is a pocketknife, physically, but from this small patch of floor at the foot of my bed in this tiny room I can ring the bell of the most powerful jerks in the world. And they have to say things like 'The People know about what Epstein is doing on his island(s)!'
So yes, mindhawk is a cheeseball/cornball sub-marvel quality superhero name, but it's mine. It would be sad though, really, only if I were actually claiming special powers or superhero status. If you read my writing, I think I'm having fun with it. Mindhawk is a space that gives me room to play in a way that my (also prolific) writing under my actual name does not.
Mindhawk is really just about ideas, convincing people. Classical rhetoric addressing topics that are live wires now in 2018. If the internet is a giant field, then I imagine myself a hawk above it and I'm looking for contradictions, which to me present themselves like rats. Imaginary rats, pests of the internet. Mechanical reproductions of absolute contradictions attempting to invade the human mind everywhere they spread, and with them bring the mental disease that is living in illusions. Illusions created to limit, entrap, and usually leach.
So maybe I'm hunting imaginary Rat-leaches. And I descend from great internet heights, grab the rat-leach in my claws and eviscerate it and in so doing yank the leech tentacles from a hundred thousand human brains. And as I descend, my shadow grows, and many flee in fear, because people treat their ideas, even the bad ones, like part of themselves.
But when I ascend again to the sky they can examine themselves and never once did I touch them or come near them with my dreaded pocketknife. No, I am just a mindhawk, and I exorcised them of a contradiction, one that was impeding their ability to live in reality. Maybe I put something back in its place, a technique, or an understanding of how something works, or a new perspective.
As I fly away, you will see dozens of ghosts, managed personas of some other deceptive dimension, with low rep newly made accounts or that haven't posted in like 5 months, chasing after me acting ridiculous and fake, and you will know that without doubt that Something Just Happened, this dude just wrote this shit, and as evidence he left us righteous morpheus/neo memes which are indeed most dank.
-I could write a thousand books and send them to a thousand publishers and all that would happen is my work would sit in a thousand slushpiles while they published a thousand celebrity cookbooks and bought a thousand summer homes. (true story)
-my writing voice is so unique that any attempt to write anonymously at this point would fail
-I am not a military trained or capable person and I have disks that easily herniate, so I will not be on the front lines of protests or 'in the trenches' of political confrontation.
-If I were to ever write in my own name, then real harassment would be directed at me personally and I do not as of yet have the ability to afford actual protection in the form of my own house and security.
-Police and intelligence services, national, regional and private, know who I am and I have become ssomewhat comfortable with this inevitability, although it means that whatever AI/Supercomputer matrixes they are running, I am in those. On one hand, this means that I may be reproduced for evil purposes or tortured somehow. On the other hand when I write about evidence of the elite pedo network, then that evidence is seen by their AI/analysts as well and it becomes more and more difficult for people to be paid or threatened into ignoring it.
-my only safety therefore is in being non-violent, mobile and low key in the physical world, so that I can be loud in the world of ideas, which I think I accomplish nicely and with some style. Since the best contribution I have to make is what I write, this is also the only way I know how to thrive.
-everything i write at this point is studied by global intelligence services and put in my various files. The only concerted effort that the various forces that are obviously surveilling me want me to have is that i am isolated, that i am alone, that no one cares what i have to say(heck @dbroze just told me that yesterday!) and this is what they do to people with ideas they perceive as radical. They isolate you and make you feel like a weirdo. It's a pretty good plan on their part, probably drives a lot of people actually crazy.
Therefore, everything I write is intended to subvert the bad guys and give the good guys some encouragement. So if you are one of the ones taking bribes to look the other way while the pedophile network infiltrates your state's Child Protective Services(looking at you David McKay of Arizona!), then yeah, everybody is going to keep hearing about it until my curiosity in the matter is satisfied or I am dead.
Here is the test for your society, give it to yours now:
Is your society at war but tries to pretend it is at peace? (USA, yes)
Is your society enslaved but thinks they are free? (USA, yes)
Does your society reward ignorance as a strength? (USA, yes)
Well then, what more do you need to know as to why I had to get out?
And that is just the beginning of the contradictions the United States is drowning in. The Drug War, the electoral college, news, the university, medicine, food, health, justice, everything is upside down and its getting worse.
Citizens of the USA actually still believe that American troops need to be in Afganistan because of 9/11, that 'if we don't have soldiers over there then they will come over here and attack us.' When Hitler invaded Poland the countries were still adjacent, had Hitler claimed that Indonesia was preparing to invade I suspect that would have been a more difficult sell, of course unless he blamed the Reichstag fire, or some other fire, on Indonesians, which I suppose he easily could have, or would have eventually.
The United States is a country that has been warned about this form of tyranny so many times, and it has celebrated itself for warning itself about such tyranny at literally millions of barbeques and billions of hours of History channel specials on the 3rd reich. Yet all for nothing, it's all just a farce. 300 million people trained to hand over the reigns to their minds with only a few minor insurrections in Oakland as evidence of protest.
And who will Trump sell the reigns to? They are fighting over that right now, but we can know for sure there aren't any Americans even in the bidding or extortion or whatever form of aristocratic madness it may take.
So what's my stance? What am I really trying to do here?
Stop the war that will mean the end of the human species. Stop a form of government from taking over that will mean the end of everything I like about humanity.
I am fighting for my 'way of life', a way of more than one type of person living together in relative harmony, and there is a force of homogeneity creeping, slowly taking over and removing all other ways of being from its path.
Maybe these posts will just be the dying gasp of yet another subculture spit up and chewed out by the megaculture. Maybe.
But my culture is not one to go down silently or without a struggle. My culture is actually on the offensive, tearing to metaphoric shreds dozens of shills and whatever psy-op nooz infiltrators there may be out there, trying to boost our pirate signal into the mass media against all odds, turning on and waking up people by the hundreds on a daily basis, far beyond what the bean counters at whatever global strategic corporate snoozefest will ever know.
I'm just getting started, I have a long list of mysteries and curiosities that I intend to explore, this world is not monolithic and figured out.
No, it is vast and full of uncertainty. I have my work cut out for me.
Any questions? Please, bring them in comments.
Here, have some of my favorite stravaporn:
Just what are they doing out there at bohemian grove underground in tunnels shaped like a star?
What is that C out there in the middle of Antarctica?
May Peace, Reason, and Good Writing prevail in the end!