Dear Life (A Struggle of 9-5 Job)

Dear Life

Dear Life,

I had imagined a number of times
how I might break down
at one point of time.
It could be because of the
pressure that I feel by living
so many lives except mine.
Or it can be because of sheer
disappointment that I have
given everyone around me,
including myself.
I stand in front of the clock in
my room and watch time running
out of hand as if it has to reach
a finishing line.
I wonder about all the times
I had thought that life
was a beautiful journey
of ups and downs.
I wondered if my parents
would give up on me sooner or later.
I wondered about how
I had a plan, written on the last page
of my diary but nothing
had seemed to work out.
I wanted to scream,
shout and tell someone what a
mess my mind is.
But then the demons inside
my head whispered in my ear
telling me that this is how life is.
It's a struggle for a 9-5 job,
it's being lost even though
you had an aim, it's the 5 am call
telling you to get up
and try sorting out your life.
Its everything you never
wanted but will always get.
I am sitting on my bed,
with the only light in the room
being my bed side lamp and
I watch my hands shiver
in the fear of rejection,
failure.
I want to get back up and
try again.
But I feel like I am
losing strength.
To hold on.
My phone vibrates and
I see a message from
a friend asking me if
I want to join her for a
cup of coffee the very next day.
I watch my time running out,
my dreams falling apart
and I keep my phone aside
and decide to switch off the only light.

Yours,
The voices of many.

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Thanks for lovely picture, Pixabay

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