Real Men Don't Rape

Rape. The effects, the statistics and how to deal with it.

For those of you who don't know, rape is sexual intercourse or penetration against a person's will. In other words, they didn't want to have sex! Some men just don't understand what the consequences are of raping a woman.

South Africa is flagrant for it's rape status. Over 40% of woman in SA are likely to be raped in their life and only 1 in 4 rapes are reported.

Violence Against Woman

A woman over the age of 25, being raped, has a 1 in 4 chance of the rapist being HIV-positive. Most of the rape cases are men who knew the victim. Statistics show that a husband/boyfriend murders a woman every 6 hours, also that 1/4 woman reported being abused by a partner.

Male Rape

Yes, there is such a thing as a man raping a man. In 2012, 19% of the victims of sexual assault, were male. www.samsosa.org states that 1/5 men are victims of sexual offences. Men are likely not to report being raped, so in reality the statistics are much higher.

Child Rape

Over the past decade, sexual violence against children increased by 400%. Many believe that having sex with a virgin or a child will cure AIDS. A study shows that 32% of the interviewed believed this myth. If a woman's husband rapes the children in their home, she'll be hesitant reporting it if he's the only source of income. 

Red Cross Children's Hospital is known for helping children below 14 years of age with reconstructive surgery. A nurse at this hospital saw 100 children who're victims of rape, monthly in 1995. 

I was raped. This is my story.

 We had all been drinking, and I was drunk as well. I remember being on my knees surrounded by the group of my guy friends. They were cheering each other on, asking me to perform oral sex on them. I said, “No,” and tried to push them away. My efforts were useless. One of the guys suggested going upstairs to one of the bedrooms. Before I knew it, I was on the bed and one of them had pulled my pants and underwear off. I remember calling for my sister, calling out her name, but no one came. After the first guy raped me, another one got on. There my body lay limp and without life. I just wanted it all to be over. By the time the third guy was on top of me, I heard my sister bust through the door. I remember the lights coming on, and I heard everyone scatter. I remember her saying, “What is going on in here? Betsy, are you okay?” In a place that I have never experienced, my body and mind felt inside out. I remember feeling the tears come from my eyes, and not understanding all that just happened. 

~Anonymous

 It was just before midday when, the boys, my “friends”, who I’ll call T and N, met me. They were drunk, I was sober… as any normal person on a weekday morning would be. You’d think they’d have at least tried to flirt, flatter me, make me feel wanted. But they had intentions, they didn’t care.T grabbed my bum straight away and N sat and watched. I was oblivious to what was about to happen so I laughed, which was clearly permission to pull up my dress and push down the back of my knickers.In the space of a few seconds, I went from feeling special and wanted, from feeling like a friend, to feeling abused and completely on my own.I couldn’t stand there and let T touch me up, so naturally, I screamed at him, took his hand out of my tights, picked up my bag and the little dignity I had left, and went to leave.It was apparently N’s turn now. He leapt up and stopped me in my tracks, while N took my bag and ruthlessly emptied its contents everywhere. And so, like what can only be described like someone searching for their glasses on the floor, I scuttled around picking up my things.And that was the perfect opportunity.T pushed me over. He pulled up my dress again. He pulled down my tights. He pulled down my knickers and started to touch me up. N went back to his seat on the log and watched one of his best friends abuse me.I obviously struggled out of his grasp. I did all I could, I told him no, I hit him, I tried to call for help.But before I knew it N penetrated me, while T stood watching, playing music.And in that moment, any innocence that I had left was gone. I didn’t know I’d been raped, in fact I didn’t know for a few years. Instead, I just felt ashamed. I felt ashamed because everyone knew. I was branded a slut, I was told no-one would touch me again – no-one realized that it wasn’t a choice. 

~Laura Fitzpatrick

If someone tells you they've been raped

• Don't panic
• Don't ask to much detailed questions
• Don't open a case without their consent
• Don't try to fix it
• Don't underestimate barriers to disclosing

~From https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jul/29/sexual-assault-rape-how-to-respond

So there you have it. Rape is wrong and happening daily all around you. Say No to Rape, let's all stand together and make the world a better place. 

If you're a victim, don't let it eat you up from the inside, report it, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Thanks for reading.

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