True Lies

So on Friday I detailed the astonishing three facts for my workmates to digest and dissect in an attempt to discover which of the said facts was a LIE!!!

As a mild recap, the Facts were thus...

I was in a short-lived relationship with a girl once which unfortunately ended because I couldn't spank her hard enough.

I once shared a flat with three people, one of them regularly labelled all of his food in the fridge. He was so annoying and hard to live with that I used to regularly pee in his butter to spite him.

I once ate 20 hallucinogenic Hawaiian plant seeds with a friend. As the night progressed I became so disconnected from reality that i genuinely believed I had transcended time and space and had gained enlightenment as to the answer to everything. On waking the next day, I was convinced I had died in the night and passed through to another existence. Sometimes, a part of me still believes this.

Well, which one was the lie?? @gardenlady suggested they were all lies or all truths so that I could lord it over my workmates. She was very close!

They are all true!!

But number two was a half lie. I said I used to regularly pee in his butter when in fact I only peed in his butter once.

In fact I gave it a right good old wash in pee then let it drain before placing it back. I did pee in his diluting orange once but it would be a stretch to call that butter.

The folly of youth!

Astonishingly there was a girl in the case of number one who quite simply could not be spanked hard enough. Oh, how I gave it all the welly I had! I think only a Rhino could have given her the spanking she needed.

In the end I am grateful, imagine having to spank your missus for being naughty every time you fancied a bit of Polly wants a cracker...

First world problems eh!

And the seeds, oh lord. What a trip, what madness! I can't even describe it.

So enough of my shilly shallying! To the winners!

The husky @ocrdu was first to the mark with the correct guess and wins a gigantic 3 SBD!!

@gardenlady gets the bonus boobie for her expert analysis which sung to my soul and also wins 3 SBD! Plus she seemed to be no stranger to a hard spanking!

Which means the rest of the incredible wonders get a massive 2 SBD EACH! Congrats @kiwideb @darth-azrael @jedau @dreemit

Cheques are in the post!!

Hurrah for lies and deceit!!! :O)