Sweet n Stouty Beers!
Awooga!! Awooga!!
It's Saturday, the day of Kings and on that day of Kings there is only one truly noble activity.
Beer, of course!!
Oh, and it's the solstice, or was it last night? Fuck it, it's close enough. So tonight's beers are dedicated to the turning of the seasons, the rolling of this great globe, earth, around and around.
One of my commenters @thecripplingdrivel tapped me up on the discords for a bit of advice actually?
He said.
I love beer, man. But after a big session my pee feels gritty, any recommendations?
I mean Jesus fuckity, he's obviously not drinking enough to get past the gritty stage.
I told him to man up and get to fuck.
There. Now the advice column is over we can get to the serious issue of beer.
First up, a beer with pandan leaf!? I mean, what the hell is that? It's it something Chinese Bears do in the woods?
No matter, let's try it.
Cor blimey, this looks... Interesting.
From Brew York, whom I have never even heard of. Oh well, let's get on with it.
It's a bit pallid. I like my stouts to be turgid ebony or some mad shade of black, maybe purple or tan. But this looks pale. Hmm.
Down the hatch.
Ourgh. If that's not a word, I have made it up to sum up this monstrosity.
It's kak. An everyday run of the mill stout ruined by cheap coffee and the mysterious FanDan leaf which I presume is the thing giving it that funky weird aftertaste.
Bleurgh. 3/10 booms.
Outrageous!
Save me, second beer, save me!
Heavy water, ha. It even sounds cool. It is exceptionally strong too. Twice that of the fannybadger leaf one I tried a minute ago.
Its got raspberries in it, which makes me nervous. I have only ever had one beer with raspberries in it that has been any good.
Once more unto the breach!
By the balls of Jon Bon Jovi, would you look at that!! It looks incredible. The head is a dense frothing caramel atop a dank and desolate tarry liquid.
I think the excitement is making me form more of a head down below than this beer is up top!!
Gimme!!!
Goodness!! How to describe this and do it justice!?
It's like hot sexy donkeys hee-hawing away in a glass whilst surrounded by lecherous panthers throwing 100 dollar bills at them. It's fabulous.
Treacley, thick, sweet and malty dark. Lingers in the mouth like an expensive cigar made out of poor people dreams.
I love it, 9/10 booms!!
Top notch! And I have another, oh, these truly are happy days!!!
Cheers and have a good weekend!
Wow! A visit from the unibomber and screaming jungle banshees! This post had everything!
Is your Youtube channel getting a lot of views yet from producing such fine material? Making the big bucks over there yet?
Oh my goodness the views and the monetisation! It's off the scale!! Lol. Well, no. The views are tiny but in effect I suspect that's down to me putting the work in here rather than there.
Tough to get the ball rolling over there anyway. One needs to pound the pavement, spend many days spamming links around social media, and hope at least one video starts spreading. There's advertising as well but I assume it's expensive to have a 30 second spot play before a popular video, plus I think there are restrictions on advertising when it comes to anything drugs and alcohol related. A few funny clips, some music and some graphics is all it takes though. I don't know if you realize how entertaining those videos are. This approach with the multimedia is solid though. Hopefully someday people can see how it's actually better than just videos or just writing. I'm rambling but there is a damn good reason why I don't just plop my artwork down and say nothing.
Yeah, when alcohol is involved people get all antsy. Sod them anyway, I only use them for video storage :0)
Hehe, I get what you mean entirely though. A combined approach always works a treat. When people have more meat to chew through them end up happier with the meal!
I think. I might be talking balls :0F
You see they lure you with that all springy looking can with flowers and all and then it tastes kak........ as a South African I know now exactly what it tastes like.
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This made us all laugh
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Before you bring out a new range you must maybe find out if your initials spells a word in another language.
Glad you were saved with the second one.
Hahahahahahah, oh dear, They really should have checked there!
And yeah, it was kak!!
Every Saturday it is a must see watching you gamble on two beers that you have no fucking clue about. Watch the swearing as the neighbors kids are about and bang next word is fuck lol. The last one sounded interesting and one to put on the watch list. I doubt if any bottle store has any of these beers over here as they are just boring.
I was pretty surprised at the second cos I thought it would be rubbish and the first I thought might be good!
I lol'd at my swearing on the playback myself. HA. That will learn me to say I am calming it!
'It's like hot sexy donkeys hee-hawing away in a glass whilst surrounded by lecherous panthers throwing 100 dollar bills at them.'
Hahaha. Amazing how every time you manage to describe things in a way I see the whole scene playing just in front of me.
Lol, glad to hear it cos thats how it happens in my head!! It always comes back to them donkeys!! :OD
And now I just wonder what happens in that head of yours after you've had 10 cans of that 'heavy water'.
10 cans, fuckity baws. I dread to think what would happen after five!
What's that old scottish saying? : Whit's fur ye'll no go by ye, (found on the internet tbh)
Haha, o6r is a very popular saying actually! Amazing that it was an accurate one and not a dead old fashioned saying you found!!
Hahaha, sure you kept the swearing down, for a bit. "... Like an albino with an Afro...", I was up for that second one right away.
Pandan can be nice though, in an Indonesian cakes like 'Spekkoek' or 'Rotti Kukus'. But in beer? Nah, I would accept your new word: ourgh for that kind a thing.
The second one, ow yes, yes, yes... Except for getting ones mouth around a dog's nutsack, I'm not sure 'bout that. Anyhoe, cheers, proost and skol!
Just popped open a 'Hobgoblin', nice one too.
I bet it's lovely in a cake. Cakes yes, beers, I fear not!
Hehe, it was only when I played the video back I noticed that I sweared straight after saying it, lol!!
Proost!! I do like a Hobgoblin! I hope you enjoy dude!!
😂 Yep, there came a 'fucking' right after that.
Thanks mate! The Hobgoblin is very nice indeed, pitty I only have one bottle...
DArn it, I am sure you might have some other top notchery stashed away somewhere though?
Yes I happen to do, a few Brittish ones, unknown to me... Mostly Ales. Like 'Lancaster Bomber', 'Razor Back', 'Cumberland', 'Pedigree' (woof!?) and 'Brakspear bitter'. But that last one is double dipped? With hop I presume... Not tea-bagged with dog's ding-dongs.
Or I'll go for one of my Broah's home-brewed nameless ones. They foam like nuts, strong dark beer, quite da bitter, packed with a pleasent alcohol 'oumph'. Maybe it could be named 'Bottled Scum'. 😁
I wrote like the sound of the broahs beers!!! They sound like they would trump the other ones although maybe if that second last one has actually been tea-bagged with dog's ding-dongs it might surprise you. Lolz :0D
Well, ones has to try some new things now and then... And I bet a beer 'slighlty' teabagged with some dog's ding-dongs would pack quite a surprise. 😂 Now, the 'Pedigree' has been popped, somehow following a doggish theme? It even has got a dogfood kind of smell to it.
Nah, it's watery pilsner like, last one for tonight will be the 'bottled scum'. And then I'll hit the sack. (That sounds awefully painfull.)
That does sound painful!! Good luck with the scum to round off the night. I have retired now in the fear of a child wake up!!
Super reviews as always! That second one certainly looks absolutely superb!
Good job you didn't carry your indoor mood out to the garden with those pesky kids running around.
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HAhahah, yes, keep that indoors feeling in a box. The second is truly excellent. I am quite happy with it just now!
Cheers dude!
Ya cracks me up to no end. "But do you like that first one?" Yipes. And the second video, after many schnortles, I thought maybe you had moved to New Zealand, and the crazy parroty birds of the woods were cooin' all around you, but alas, it was only the neighbor shorties. So glad they kept you on the up and up in the language department. Giving both of these a SLAP5.0
As for the sandy pees, great advice...my first thought was-don't pass out on the beach face down. But don't think that's the problem. As you say, more bladderiferous lube in the sudsy department.
Cheers to another grand beer drinking extravaganza and a ton of entertainment.
Then pesky kids are a thorn in my side to the video recording. They aren't even that lord but the mic on my phone seems to amplify them no end!!
Ah it was a fun night indeed, cheers to you mate!
A true bummer. I'm pretty sure the young-un's sport not only a broken volume control, but the pitch is higher, like a wee insect, so you need that app for the phone, think it's called "the skeeter bugginator". Works great, designed for dampening video sounds of pesky insects, but found through testing to improve the noisy kid interference too.
O.o ......anything with Bon Jovi Balls in it is good 'nuff for me! It really does look delish :D
Hehe, it totally was!!
Is that a slice of bread on the can of the first beer? That ain't right, pop a cap in that can.
Beer 2 looks much better - 2 times as strong, and 5 times the head - winner!
Enjoy!
It was! Bread, a leaf a coconut and something else that looked like a cake. There is some serious cap popping ghoing on!!
Second one is magic though... Cheers!!
I could go for the 2nd one right now. Perhaps now i'm back in civilization I could find some interesting beers. Cheers!
Aw man, that's right. Yo uwill totally be able to find some good shit man!! Get on the beer hunt!! :OD
The neighbor's children, mhmm, sure lol-- Is that your treehouse?
It sure is!! Constructed over the course of a full 9 and a half hours by myself!!!