Sunshine and Pedantry
The city of Glasgow in a rare display of generosity from the weather is basking in the sun.
People are wandering the streets, glass bottles of ba boo in hand. And of course when the temperature reaches 12 degrees the taps are aff.
As direct sunlight is so rare here the excitement in the air is palpable. Smiles abound and the exchanging of insults is done with much merriment and without the normal punchy nonsense which is something that is indelibly woven into the very fabric of this once great City.
Beneath the sunlight sits a building shrouded in dark smoked glass. Deep within, horrifyingly inefficient air conditioning wheezes ineffectually on each floor achieving little.
On one such poorly ventilated floor under the harsh gleam of artificial lights there is an enclosed box of a meeting room with no windows and not even the the wheezy air conditioning to move the turgid air about. In it sits me looking grumpy and across a table from me sits a self entitled looking external contractor. Or as we like to call them, a narsole.
This is a short informal meeting to review a document I had written. The world obviously needs more meetings.
About ten minutes in we have covered the following sins
My bullet pointed list on page four could be, in his opinion a numbered list.
My section headings could be underlined.
And then...
On page 6 I have written dependant instead of dependent. After he points this out he leans back rather dramatically and smirks, proud of his kingly grammar and spelling knowledge.
Oh really? You fucking porpoise I think. Instead however, I too lean back in what can only be described as a magnificent manner and spread my hands out theatrically.
'I suppose if there are no meaningful comments on the content... We are done? Thank you for your input, this has been invaluable!'
I then stared at him in the style of Joe Bastianich, that judge dude from old American Masterchef. If you havent seen his mad staring eyes you really should. Here is an example
The porpoise seems somewhat taken aback and attempts to bring up some other shitey thing. I however actually have real work to do and have gathered my things and am already sashaying away.
Somehow the day seems that little bit brighter
That's awesome 'I suppose if there are no meaningful comments on the content... We are done? Thank you for your input, this has been invaluable!', I love it. It's going down in my favorite quote list.
Hehe, cheers. It gave me great pleasure to say that bit!
Glorious! Her face is priceless when she is getting the stare down from Joe!!
It really is, I learned a lot from that man!!!
It is an obvious awesome shining story @meesterboom
I do like the stories that shine :O)
Nitpickers! They always miss the real genius of the article!
They do!! Numbered lists!??! Gaaarrr!!
Of course the sun does make the day brighter.
Even in my part of town without four seasons, I feel a bit down with gloomy rainy days.
It can be quite depressing when it is constant rain!
Yesm if it rain for a few day in a row, you begin to wonder when will better days come
AHAHA! Funny how one letter changes everything haha! So topical :D Freaking narsoles. Only you have the power to turn one simple rant into a detailed and very entertaining story, dude! Oh, and you still managed to sneak in that skull haha
Another skull hurrah!! Yes, it fits quite well with the way the Scottish pronounce it too. Yesterday was a trying day indeed!!
What first well with how you Scots pronounce it?
Oh lol, sorry! I was rushing out the door to get to work. Narsole told very well off the tongue in the Scottish accent!!
Ha! That's what I figured. For a second there I thought you meant "Another skull hurrah!!" haha!
Has, that would have been an entirely different thing!!!
Ahh the kind of meeting that could have just been done in a quick email- but somehow they manage to stretch it for a good hour or so.
Yeah, I had a day full of them and outside tantalisingly lay the sun winking and tempting me to escape and frolic!!