in life •  5 months ago


We will be back in five or six hours. You sure you will be ok?

Of course lass, me and the little boom will have a whale of a time!

I waved the good lady and the little lady off as they went out on their girls adventure. Now that the little boom is eating food (sort of) he isn't quite so dependant on the boob.


In fact he can go hours without it. Simply astonishing. I was looking forward to a bit of chill time with the little guy.

I did feel a little nervous as they left but it wasn't as if I was new to the daddy game. I would be fine.

As the door closed over the little boom looked up at me from my arms.


He yelled aggressively, fixing me with a mad stare.

I gave a little chortle. Ah, he was such a wee character.

Come on young man, let's get you some toys and some playing.

I said jovially.


He shouted back, thrashing in my arms like a demented octopus.

Now now young man. You aren't just going to shout like a madman for the entire day are you?


He did.

He shouted throughout the morning.

He shouted throughout breakfast.

At lunch he managed to punch me in the eye as I bent down to get his spoon. All the while shouting furiously.

It was quite hard to feed someone who is shouting angrily all the time.

Just after lunch, I got a text message from the good lady.


How's everything going?

Magic, having lots of fun with the little guy.

I lied in my reply.

Excellent, just be another couple of hours.

No worries.

I replied, weeping for my sanity as the little boom shouted louder than ever his rage at the world.

I tried to get him to sleep.

He almost nodded off a couple of times before waking himself up with an angry cry. As if furious that the wool had almost been pulled over his eyes.

Finally, the good lady and little lady arrived home.


I was frazzled and frayed. The little boom had literally shouted and thrashed all day long. I was tempted to change his name to Shouty McShouty.

Upon his mummy's arrival he stopped shouting. I looked at him in disbelief. He was now a docile giggly baby again.

Was that alright then? Everything go ok?

Asked the good lady.

Of course mummy bear. I was made for this stuff.

I thumped my chest like an ape.


That's good, I was thinking we could do this once a week so I and the little lady get some time together. If that's ok?

I nodded like a spaniel on a skateboard.

I might have to run away and join a circus.

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It was fortunate that the good and little lady were away for a couple of hours. Imagine what it would be like if it were for a few days? You will start to tear your hair out. Haha! Upvoted!


If it was a few days I would leave as well, lol!

He just knows mommy is abandoning him to the great ape! LOL Perhaps next time, take him out in the stroller for a walk to the park...or buy a giant bottle of tranquillizer...


I think only the tranquilliser will do! He is going through some separation angst just now and when him mummy disappears he goes bananas!

Lol... Great story... Nothing wrong with a white lie to safe your manhood, "great lying ape"!

Weirdest thing how kids can be totally the opposite person when mommy arrive... Split personality at its best!


Yeah, I was very suspicious of his turnaround on behaviour!!!


Believe me... you are not the only dad that felt... almost betrayed by your own kid.


It comes with the territory eh!

Oooohhh, can I come too?? Is there air conditioning in the circus??

Hah, I'm melting! (I was going to do a respectable post today, but the heat only allowed for a ridiculous one)


Hehe, I am only just managing to get on now! What a disaster it was this morning!

The circus is fully air conditioned and ask are welcome! :0D

It is incredible how babies can smell the smell of homelessness, this parody can only know who was a father, spend a whole day with a crying baby can be very stressful.
Hoooo, Noooooooooo, this will be repeated once a week. This, even Uncle Boom could recite this.
I wish you a great week dear friend @ meesterboom /


Hehe, it will be a torment but I am hopeful that it will grow easier!!

What did we learn today? Lies only give way to grander lies. And that kids is why we have governments.

I knew he's gonna be a brawler, but I didn't know The Mountain was going to be a shouter as well! Might give Bruce Lee a run for his money! WATAAA!


It is his new thing, he shouts a lot these days. Horrid loud things. They are brutal because its not one off its non stop! My ears are ringing with it!


Wait until shouting becomes the next IT thing in music, and The Mountain takes up his Daddy's mantle with regard to musical stylings. Investing in ear plugs this early on doesn't sound like such a bad idea.


Hehe, earplugs might do the trick. It I can just wait it out and hope it passes!


You can hope, but it would be for naught, my bredren. In time, you will learn to resign to The Mountain's fate. There must be balance. For every cuteness, there must be a price.


Some prices with 6 heavier on the soul than others. Yes, it was written.

he's trying your limits... I suggest duct tape the next time around. It might be inappropriate, but it'll save your sanity.


Haha, well, I have plenty of it lying around!

hahaha Now you will have to take care of the baby once a week ... By the end of the month you will no longer have hair, hahaha


This is my second. Hair is looking thin on the ground already!!! Lol!

You could have used a dummy with some Chambord Liqueur on it, or is that not done these days?


Ah the glory days, alas whilst I would be willing the good lady would throw a fit. It's her favourite thing right now (throwing fits)


Let me guess: she never throws them far enough?


Not far enough for my liking :0D

awesome writing…you have a great writing experience

sounds like he has your number...he a moma's boy

upvoted and resteemed