She's a He

in #life3 years ago

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Hey. Do you think she is alright?

My mate Daz pointed at the woman up ahead of us in the park.

I looked up from running after the Little Boom who was having a whale of a time in the park, running through the fallen Autumn leaves and scaring little dogs by chasing them with a stick.

Oh aye, she does look a bit mental?

I said, peering at the slightly mad looking old woman on the path just ahead of us. She was all crouched over with her hand out as if feeding a slightly invisible dog.

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I leant down and gently prised the dog-beating stick from the Little Boom just in case he ran up and started thrashing the old woman with it. He could be a bit stick-happy at times.

Oh my goodness, she is beautiful!

The old woman called out in a cut-crystal posh voice.

She looked up at me with icy blue eyes and smiled. Her lips looking like two demented earthworms thrashing about in dried and cracked mud.

And look at that hair!! Isn't it absolutely gorgeous!

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She straightened as we neared her.

You must be the proudest father in the whole world.

She tilted her head to the side as if to admire my many facets and I tried not to blush at the implied compliment to my doughty sperms.

Well, yes. I am quite proud...

I had only managed to start my soliloquy when I was rudely interrupted by this CrazyHorse.

Look at the colour of her hair. It's beautiful. Proper strawberry blonde isn't it?

She said whilst leaning down to tickle a frond of my big strapping boy's reddish hair.

She is delightful.

Gushed CrazyHorse.

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Well, she, is actually a he.

I said with a debonair swish of my son's dog-beating stick.

CrazyHorse jerked back as if stung.

What?! But she is a beautiful little girl?!

She gasped as if I had asked to borrow her pantyhose so I could strain my jam.

No. She's not, She is most definitely a he.

I said, smiling at my mate Daz in that universal if she goes berserk and tries to bite me, drop an elbow on her kind of way.

CrazyHorse drew back with a contemptuous sneer on her lips.

OH, I've heard of this. I think it is absolutely ridiculous.

She tutted loudly at me as if I had flown over her house with a flock of my friends and interfered with her television signal.

I swished my dog-beater back and forth and laughed.

It's not ridiculous, he really is a boy.

CrazyHorse turned purple as if she was fighting the urge to spit on me and call me a scurvy dog and stomped off muttering about modern parenting and the damage it causes to the children.

At the same moment, a woman walking by with her dog stopped and looked adoringly down at my son.

Oh my god, she is gorgeous, isn't she?

I raised an eyebrow at my mate Daz.

Yes. Yes she is.

Sort:  

I still laugh at this picture :o)

Hahaha I do not know if I am speechless for what the lady said or for the polite manner you answered her. Are you telling us the whole story??

I was exceptionally polite!! I think my rude-o-meter is broken!! :0D

O I think it may be a temporary thing

Just give him a number one haircut. That will solve the problem.

But his curls, his beautiful curls!!!

Oh wow, totally unexpected

@meesterboom hello dear friend.
Many times it is better to nod and follow the flow and not be trying to explain that it is not so.
I wish you a wonderful night

Hola @jlufer!

EXactly. It is best to just go along with it at times!

Bahahahahhahhahaaaaa eldest was one of those all the way up til he was 10 XD Usually people were really apologetic but eldest and I don't mind being misgendered. I've only had one case where someone actually asked "Are you sure? He's too pretty to be a boy!" that I wasn't sure how to deal with as I know a few pretty boys XD

Lol! I don't mind much either. I just get annoyed sometimes when they keep saying she and I say he until I say his name which is make and they still ignore me!

I guess they both weren't yet aware of the fact that you're an orca, otherwise they wouldn't have made that mistake.
Orcas only (re)produce new wise, handsome, muscular men.

They should have known but these were fools. Folks for long curly hair of the red variety!! :0D

That did Not go where I expected, I thought the crazy old lady would end up a crazy old man, haha!

Nothing wrong with a pretty boy 😉😆

I am sure he will be a smash with the ladies when he is older!! :0)

The first time you cut off his hair, just remember, it will never come back the same way. I don't know who made up that rule, but, it has never come back for me. I wasn't ready to let those locks go and my mom came and took him for a haircut - while I was busy giving birth to yet another.

Oh!!! don' t do it until you are ready to let it go!

Perhaps one more comment. :) What is up with your rudeometer? Stop teasing us that way!

!tip .20

That is what my missus has been saying as she refuses to let it be cut!

I think my rude-o-meter is broken. I am struggling to be impolite at all. I think it is because I am not at work at the moment and it is at work that I become most contemptuous!!

Well, we need to get you a proper part-time job for a bit then! I'm telling you, I never know what to expect when I show up here!

Next thing you know, you will be upvoting the bots.

Shudders

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Hey BOOM...!!! This one is a GEM, and should go down within the anals of hysterically.

I was rather fond of that one :O)

If I recall correctly this is not the first time your lad has been mistaken for a lass - he really must have some lovely hair :D

It's not, it is happening all the more often now that it is getting quite long. Might have to go full buzz cut!!! :0D

Skinhead and knuckle tattoos should do the trick!

Aye, a big panther tattoo on his face as well. Lol!!

Googling face tattoos has really put me off my dinner!

I saw a cracker yesterday that made me question what the fuck is wrong with some people. Big cobweb affair going up from the neck to the guys cheekbone!!

Catching flies! Yeah that sounds ludicrous!

I do know a guy that got a panther on his shaved head many moons ago, it's fucking ludicrous to say the least!

Brilliant artwork sir meeterboom, first of all! Do you guys practice modern parenting techniques? lol.

Hehe, we do in some circumstances. The good lady is very into all that. Fortunately I temper it all with some common sense :0)

lol! 👍

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