Pair With Me
BoomDawg, can you pair with Half-Boob for this one?
El-Jefe commanded as if he was asking.
I looked distastefully over at Half-Boob who was lurking furtively nearby.
Pair? Like, to write a document? Seriously?
My voice couldn't help but rise up at the end of every sentence like a Californian hemp grower.
El-Jefe scowled at me as if I were a fibrous poo blocking his bomb doors.
Yes. Pair. You know, like when you...
He started to patronise me but I cut him off with an imperious flick of my shiny silver pen of many nibs.
I know what pairing is. I just don't see why I have to pair with old ChuckleTits there to knock up a few PowerPoint slides?
I made a sorry mate face at Half-Boob as if I was actually sorry as I spoke.
This is for the Board, get it? I want it bullet proof. So, pair with him.
El-Jefe growled low in his chest as if he were attempting to seduce an angry dog before stomping off.
Half-Boob sidled over and pulled up a chair whilst smiling at me with too many teeth.
Um, alright then. How shall we do this? Shall I ride shotgun?
He fanned his fingers about in front of him as if tickling a fish called Celine.
Nobody is riding anything.
I said, giving him a glare that could wilt even the firmest of penises.
Ha, yes. But really. Um, how shall we, um, you know? Should we... Well, let's take a step back, hmm?
Half-Boob edged his chair in closer to mine until our knees touched. My nostrils flared mightily and I harrumphed at him for violating the First Law of Man.
He pulled back a little and grinned nervously.
Let's approach this holistically. I mean, you know. If we knock heads we can maybe synergise..?
He tilted his head as if he were a spaniel hearing ghosts.
I beg your pardon?
I frowned.
Half-Boob snapped out of what has looked to be a momentary trance and nodded.
Yes, so... How can we leverage what we don't know into the as is?
He asked earnestly.
What did you just say?
I asked incredulously.
Half-Boob opened his mouth as if to utter more nonsensical sentences. I cut him off.
You shoosh. I write. Cool?
I put my headphones on and started to tap away at my keyboard.
Some time later I looked up and Half-Boob was gone.
This pairing lark wasn't so bad after all.
Ugh I hate this group shit - not saying I am not open for other ideas but I usually don't trust people enough to do my work so I rather do it myself. Now I just wonder.... why half boob?
Lol, he joined the gym I used to be in and insisted on wearing these vest things which had massive armholes like right down to his belt practically, he wasn't very trim shall we say so you could half see his flabby little moons from the side. And so Half-Boob was born!! :0)
Hhahahaha ok yes now I have a very clear picture
Is that actual dialogue? What was he even saying? I understood each individual word but not how they were put together o_O
I couldn't understand it. That's what he said almost word for word. It's like he was just saying things and using eye contact in the hope of initiating a telepathic link. Hell, maybe that was the initiation phrase!!!
Perhaps you dodged a body snatching bullet!
Sometimes I think I world be a great body snatch victim. Like a virus uploaded to the mothership!!
Ooohhhhhhh...I still don't want freaky stuff like that to ever have a chance of becoming reality but at the same time...that would be entertainingly epic. How would that one be for the history books and would our far distant descendents believe it or have the same kind of feelings about it as we do about Herodotus XD
It would definitely be the latter!
What will future humanity make of our digital nonsense. Or will it be just the norm!
The definition of something getting in the way :)
There are work tasks that are better done as a team, and most that are best left to someone not reeling off bullshit bingo lines.
This guy is trulyb one of the worst for it, he was the first person I ever heard saying blue-sky thinking without even a hint of shame!!
Haha..., were did you yank that one from!
I come across Half-Boob's all the time in my workplaces.
The mind is a terrible place. Well, mine is... Lol
My place is festooned with them, it seems like they are multiplying and the people that can do stuff is decreasing!
Group projects rarely go well. I have had some good luck with back-and-forth exchanges of work, but I usually need to work alone on my part of a given job.
I am like that. A total lone wolf in most respects. I just know I can get the job done quicker on my own