Eager Zero #3

in life •  16 days ago

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I sat in work wrestling with a giant conundrum. Fortunately, the battle was short lived and it came frapping out of me in a series of explosive bursts.

I clucked appreciatively at my own prowess before wiping my Hampton hedgehog and getting the hell out of there.

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Back at my desk, I pondered over my progress on the EAGER ZERO case. I had a few leads for sure. I knew that the DBA's were involved. They were meeting in secret in various coffee shops instead of working and something code-named MARS was involved. In fact, one of them had stated that I was practically up MARS.

What did MARS have to do with time travel?

Could it have been a red herring designed to throw me off the scent of EAGER ZERO? And why now was I naming the case in capital letters?

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It seemed that there were more questions than answers.

I smiled wryly, there was one man I always turned to in these kinds of situations and I turned to him now.

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Mikey.

The guy who sat to my right sighed.

Alright, I fucking give up, you win. I am Mikey. Happy now?

I'm going for a coffee Mikey, you want one?

His face brightened.

Yeah, go on, I will have a Flat White please?

Flat white, gotcha. You know how they make Flat Whites in Prison Mikey?

Oh god, not the Prison chat again. Look, a Flat White. It's all I ask. Please?

They smuggle the beans in via someone's 'Apple Fritter.'

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Mikey looked aghast.

What is it with you and the shit talk? Gods man, beat it. Go get the coffee.

I sauntered away.

Why do you think it tastes so 'nutty' Mikey?

I called over my shoulder. I smirked. One coffee and Mikey was anybody's. He just didn't know it yet.

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After I returned with his coffee I let him have a few slurps of that brown gold before I started probing him. He resisted at first but as I pushed harder and harder, he began to open up.

So Mikey. Eager Zero, you must know something. Spill the beans and I don't mean the nutty ones.

Mikey took an eager swig of his Flat White.

Look, there isn't much I can tell you. The word on the street is that Project Cirrus is a bust. Our encryption product isn't playing nice with the cloud and we are seeing degradation of performance in the region of 40 to 50% in some cases.

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I gave Mikey my flattest of stares, flatter than his Flat White, flatter even than Grandma's pancakes. Or at least so the old man told me.

Buillshit Mikey, I ain't never heard such hogwash. You think I'm your momma's old busted sofa Mikey?

My mum's sofa? Eh, of course not?

Then why are you fucking me between the cushions Mikey?!

I hissed.

I stood, trembling with rage. Two bucks for Mikey's Flat White and he had the audacity to bullshit me with some yarn about performance in the cloud? Mikey gulped and wheeled his chair back holding his coffee protectively as if I would take it back.

Suddenly his eyes peeled back until all I could see was whites and pupils. He looked set to faint. I took a step toward him.

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What the hell is wrong with...

I stopped. A click clack'ing noise sounded from behind me and a familiar scent assailed my nostrils. A scent that spoke of fetid things and dying flowers in the sun. A scent of corruption and unspeakable acts in hotel rooms.

Every fibre in my body stiffened in response to that scent and when I say every fibre, I mean my penis. Slowly I turned around.

Clicking her way to an impossibly tall halt before me was Carlate.

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Carlate, I thought they had let you go?

I croaked, willing my meatball marinara to subside.

She chuckled and placed a hand on her hip and cocked it at me in a cadaverously sexy way.

BoomDawg. So pleased to see you too. I am back, as you can see.

She did a small twirl.

Now come with me on the 8th floor. We have work to do you and I.

She glamorously spun on her heel and strutted off.

I gulped and glanced at Mikey. He was all red and broken looking as if he had just eaten a hot beef sundae.

I waved with one of the hands that weren't attempting to hide my erection.

Gotta go, Mikey, If I don't make it back, tell the good lady, I love her. Even though she isn't the one I left behind.

I got up and followed Carlate. I didn't know if I was heading to my almost certain doom or if I was finally going to find the answers I had been seeking but one thing was for sure.

Something was going to get cracked open.

I hoped for all our sakes that it wasn't going to be me.

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When was Carlate let go!? Did I miss such an event of import? Mikey is so easy to win over, I bet he'd make a good wife someday, as we all know where he'll inevitably end up in!

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Haha, he would make a good wife!!

She was a contractor, you know the type, fly by nighters ;0)

You have a serious problem: Carlate came back ... this woman is dangerous and is outsourcing; that is, She little cares about the damage you can do to achieve your goals ... Now, again, you will be the filling of the sandwich, between the company and Carlate ... why is she looking for you and not looking for Mikey ?. ..and again to the famous 8th floor; we will see what awaits you.

Aha! Carlate and BoomDawg go to the 8th floor. I hope the photo doesn't see it the Good Lady. Greetings @meesterboom

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Lol, I think the good lady should have a word or two to say is she saw such a photo!

Hmmm.... I wonder what happened after you followed her to the 8th floor. Is it something 'pleasurable' or something else? Upvoted!

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Hehe, we will never know!

Is there an actual guy at your work you call Mikey even though that's not his name? I don't think I'd be surprised if you said yes.

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There is indeed a guy I call Mikey! And it's not his name. I even make prison jokes to him too! HE doesnt get as annoyed as this Mikey though :OD

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Lol. Of course. Your stories have to come from somewhere.

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Indeed! You would be amazed at the true life scenarios I weave into these ones. I actually did have a conversation about jail hipsters getting coffee beans smuggled in up their apple fritter!

Ah some conversations are pure gold! hehe

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Well that's just disturbing.

You got my imagination running wild with Carlate and like you rightly said something was going to get cracked open. Expecting an explosion of some substances.

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There will definitely be an explosion!! :0D

You left me speechless today, Mr. Boom. That doesn't happen often...

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Thats never happened!!

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I know! That's really weird!

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Now I feel like I have let us all down!! WAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

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I wouldn't blame yourself. It is probably me with all the crap that is going on here in this country. It really seems that the hotheads want to go to war...

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Oh dear that is not good at all

The plot thickens like.......(insert naughty simile here). And Carlate is back? Really, what kind of name is that anyway?

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It's a dashed sexy name! lol

The plot thickens like hot fish yoghurt left to cool!! :OD

Nothing like a red herring, especially in a tart sour cream marinate.

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That's the breast begging

Can you actually believe that is what my phone produced when I attempted to write -

That's the best herring!

It tried to auto correct it the second time too. Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually funny or if it is all my phone lol :0)

Don Stroud as Captain Pat Chambers. What a blast from the past! Hawaii Five-O, Amatyville Horror, The Buddy Holly Story, and James Bond License to Kill to name a few movies he's been in. :)

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Hehe, I remember him well!! Is he still alive?

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I guess so. It says he's 74. Crazy I was reading he was in a plane crash and survived with the pilot. A bird flew through the window and the plane split when it hit 5 power lines. They both still lived.

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That's wild. Not normally the kind of thing you expect survivors from. How did he get so old!?! What does that mean for us? aaarghh!!

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Haha. I know, huh? I actually had second thoughts about providing that info because I thought you might bring that up. :)

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Lol, I couldn't help it!

OMG, I have never heard that momma's busted sofa reference before. Wow. Mikey is a little slow on the uptake it seems. Heading back up to the 8th are we? Hmmmm I don't see certain doom but who knows what Carlate has in mind.

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One man's doom is another man's wayhay as they say!! I made it up!! Straight from the fertile imagination that one!! :0)

coffee is a good ally to conquer the truth, but in this case it has not worked, I think Mikey does not say the whole truth Eager Zero, it has nothing to do with the failure of the Project Cirrus and the encryption problem.
luck with Carlate's beautiful, although I do not think I'll achieve anything with her, you have to prioritize Mikey, that's the key.
excellent reading dear friend @meesterboom
I wish you a great day

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You are right @jlufer, sometimes it is the thing we least expect that is under our noses that is the key!

This story makes me want to drink even more coffee than I usually do, somehow.

P.S. you got me laughing right in the first paragraph… funny transition there! :D

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There is nothing finer than more coffee!!!

Apart from wrestling successfully with a giant conundrum of course ;0D

Dun-Da-Dun Dun....Dun.........feel like I want to listen at the door find out just what our Boom is up against....lol....but my imagination is going wild at the moment and don't think it would be appropriate to say here....lol.

oh yea upvoted and resteemed

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Haha, yes, it might not be appropriate. Hopeful he doesn't come out all caked in fanny juice. What an ending that would be

;0D

Now I will order 2 flat whites too.

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Hopefully not prison ones! :0D

Even if your picture is laughable, it seems much better to read the text.

This story makes me want to drink even more coffee than I usually do, somehow.

P.S. you got me laughing right in the first paragraph… funny transition there! :D

Have you not learned to stay away from the devil.... especially if they are sexy and wearing Prada. Trouble you will get - either with her or at home with the 'new' good lady -

Like what you share @meesterboom

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Thank you