Cricket
Do you trust me?
I asked.
Is it chocolate? Chocolate chocolate, please!
Yelled the little lady.
She sat beside her mummy at the big table. The little boom was perched on high chair looking bemused at the antics he was witnessing.
I had promised them all a surprise. A treat no less. I insisted that everyone gather at the table for it.
So they sat there, expectantly. Eyes closed as I had instructed, waiting.
It's not chocolate.
Aw!
Wailed the little lady in disappointment.
But it is very, very tasty...
Hurry up, Daddy-Bear. The suspense is killing us!
Said the good lady. She was trying to act all cool and not bothered but I could see that she was just as excited as our daughter at the thought of a tasty surprise.
Ok then, do you trust me?
I asked again.
Yes!
They chorused impatiently.
Right, keep your eyes closed and open your mouths.
They did, fidgeting and giggling in anticipation.
Are you ready for the surprise?
I said grandly.
Yes, hurry up!
Said the good lady.
Ok then, here it is!
I placed one of the small treats in each of their mouths.
Well, you like? Can you guess what it is?
I asked, excited now myself to see what they thought.
The good lady concentrated, giving the treat an interrogative chew.
Crunchy. A little bit spicy. Kettle chips?
She asked, confident she had cracked it.
Not kettle chips no.
Tastes like barbeque sauce.
Said the little lady as she crunched away.
Very good! Yes, BBQ flavour is right! But what are they? Anyone?
They both shook their heads, the little lady was starting to frown and pick at her tongue.
Can we open our eyes now?
Asked the good lady. She too was making a bit of a gnarly face.
Yes indeed, open your eyes!
I yodelled merrily.
Bit of an aftertaste, I don't know if I like it. What are they?
The good lady looked about for the packet of whatever it was I had fed them.
I flipped it onto the table in front of her.
You mean you didn't enjoy the tasty crunchy goodness of crickets?!
What!? Ugh!!
The good lady looked aghast at the packet before her.
The little lady flew from her chair and ran around the room screaming dementedly whilst pawing at her tongue.
Oh my god, that's so foul. How could you do this!?
Yelled the good lady at me.
Hey chick, don't be mad. In ten years this will be all that's left for us to eat.
I motioned at the little lady who was still running back and forth as if she was on fire, her screams now morphing into tortured sobs.
I am doing you all a favour, preparing you for the dark days ahead.
I pronounced grandly.
The little lady slumped on the sofa making a face as if her daddy had fed her fried insects.
The good lady glugged some water down, her face contorted with loathing for her own mouth.
What did you think of them?
She asked testily.
Me?
I barked a disdainful laugh and curled my lip up in distaste.
Are you nuts? I'm not trying them. Eeewww.
Crickets taste awesome! Though I much prefer spiders. I've tasted all manner of insects and while most are yummy, the worst has to be dung beetles. Bleurgh!!
Oh no!! You haven't really! Have you? I didn't like it at all but I think that was my sheltered outlook spilling out!!
Oh I have, I have! The first time was when I visited the mystical land of Kampuchea and I've become hooked ever since!!
You are a hero! A bonafide hero. Nothing can stop your mouth!!!
But, of course! As all heroes of our caliber do!
Congratulations, you have just won the 'I'll cook my own food' for life award.
With it goes the ' NEVER trust daddy again' certificate.
Little Boom, by the time he could have an opinion will have been indoctrinated by the female branches of the family, so you have lost him too.
Good trick though
I know the repercussions will echo down through the ages but as soon as I saw them in the shop I knew I had to do it and it was so worth it! :0)
Recommend you buy a long extension ladder, it will help keep your mouth above the shit you are in at the moment.
I actually have a ridiculously long ladder already, I am rather proud of it :0)
A very necessary bit of equipment, anything to keep the head above the surface
Perfect.What a bonding experience. I suggest you can catch them once more and get the chocolate coated scorpions.
I have oft toyed with the idea of them but I'm scared!!!
You started it and I would hate to know what is coming your way now. Who does most of the cooking.Not a smart move. but could become a fun thing for them now.
Hehe, I am fortunate in that I do most of the cooking. And I am suspicious of everything!!
Oh geez....I don't wanna go there. By the time we have to resort to eating those I'll be dead and gone lol
Hehe, it's not a nice prospect, yeeek!
Smart thinking man. Who would otherwise have been able to bring them to the hospital if you would have taken one too.
If course! Forward planning :0D
I’m sure I would eat a handful if they were packaged nicely and had a barbecue flavor.
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The packaging was great, the flavour too but it's so hard to get over the look!!
Oh my....you can be glad you didn't try this on me! I would've totally freaked out, and I'm not the happy kindhearted person you know if I'm freaked out.
Hehe, of the was freak outs here. I think I might be in the doghouse!!! I tried them eventually, bloody foul :0)
Obviously you're going to starve to death in the apocalypse then XD
This cracked me right up XD
Starvation all the way!! Although I might make cricket bread with cricket flour!!
Maggot omelet next.
Mmm sweet maggoty goodness!
How you mislead us with that picture. No thank you I will skip. I can just imagine the hysterical little lady
I put a tiny little 's' at the end of the word Cricket but yeah, misleading was the name of the game!! :0)
Hahaha I only see it now -very clever