Chopper
Ey up, haven't seen you for a bit? Where you been?
The Bear-Man asked as I entered his dark cavern of a shop.
Aye, just been a bit busy with stuff.
I said dismissively as if I were Simon Cowell and had a queue of nubile starlets queueing up to chomp me off.
Oh aye.
He gave me a thorough staring then nodded.
Aye, stuff can be tough.
He grunted.
I flinched at the flurry of Northern English Rapping I expected to follow his rhyme but thankfully it never came.
No matter how I tried to envisage it, I couldn't see this big bearded chap throwing shapes and wearing nylon tracksuits, shouting into a mic.
Glad yer here. It's always nice to see one of the old crew.
He grinned, looking like a land-shark that had scented a Frenchman's steak.
Well, hopefully, you have something decent in?
I raised an eyebrow at his shelves.
The Bear-Man grunted and pulled his large frame out from behind the counter. As ever when he slid out of his crevice I felt myself involuntarily tensing, in case he rushed at me, brandishing his meaty walloper.
Maybe you fancy a big chopper eh?
The Bear-Man clutched his crotch like Michael Jackson at the gates of hell.
WTF?
Had it all been building up to this? Was the Bear-Man really coming at me with his gammon Didgeridoo?! Was the stink of grief driving him mad with the lust?
I stepped back and into a fighting crouch.
I might have been a bit irrational of late but not the kind of dip your salty balls in my lemon water type irrational.
The Bear-Man advanced ever closer, his hand still rummaging around at his nethers.
BOOM! Get a load of my big Chopper!
He pulled a bottle out from his apron thing and held it out to me.
I took it from him and examined it, relieved that it wasn't actually a blunt hammer of a penis.
Whisky Chopper - A barrel aged stout.
I grinned.
You are right, I think I will have some of this Chopper!
Ha, poor bear-man. He is always misunderstood. He may just turn out to be something entirely unexpected as the years unfold. A prophet of some sort? When I imagine him I see Socrates' famously unattractive face...which was maybe a bit bear-like? :)
I see something similar!! Perhaps he is only doomed to be misunderstood by myself. He might ponder that the understanding, or lack is is all in my head! Lol!
Could be! Definitely take the beers he suggests - they may take you down the path to enlightenment...or something.
Or drugged and sold on the black market. I must be worth a fortune!! :0D
Oh say, this one sounds interesting! I'm fond of a lite splash of whiskey in the evening sometimes. Thinking now what second selection you might pair it with :)
I got a right good one to go with the chopper, not a barrel aged one but a powerful contender! I am said looking forward to the tasting!!
'Was the Bear-Man really coming at me with his gammon Didgeridoo?! Was the stink of grief driving him mad with the lust?'
The news of you becoming an Orca (and its "attached benefits") must have travelled fast man.
Hahahaha, it must have been the Orca stink then!!! And the snakiness of it all :OD
Have you actually asked him if he's gay and has a thing for you?
What!?! Oh my very goodness!? One simply does not say things out loud in Scotland!? One wonders, one things and one never says!!! :0D
Hahaha. So British.
When it works it works!
Fortunately for you Boom he didn't expose another type of stout...unless of course ye be sometimes inclined that way :>O
No inclinations for stout anythings other than fine dark beers!! :0)
:>)
There goes Sunday, did you ask for the complimentary box of aspros??
Already stocked up!!
Haha! I love reading your responses as well as the story itself!
Poor Bear-Man! He is properly misunderstood! He just wants you for your money!! Throw those Orca coins down!! :)
Have a great weekend!
!tip .20
Maybe he wants my orca fins for soup! Yeek!!!!
Yes!!Best to watch your backside!!! One never knows! One can wonder, but, how can one really know? Yikes!
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haha! Yay for Bear-man, he always come through!
He does. Even when he doesn't!
lol! Exactly, with your writing he does not matter what!
And what's interesting is that he has no idea right?
No idea, I have not even mentioned Steemit! Although that is part of the not of writing under a pseudonym!!
lol..amazing. He has no idea that he's somewhat famous all over the world! If we all lived there his shop would be booming with business because we all want to buy beer from him. lol.
Lol, it would be booming until people saw the prices, it's horrifyingly expensive!
Oh really? Because it's a small shop? Well, your posts pay for the beer though!
Oh really? Because
It's a small shop? Well, your posts
Pay for the beer though!
- janton
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