Carrots
Ya wouldna poota carrot inna beer, wouldja?
The Bear-Man's voice sounded like rocks tumbling around in a washing machine but despite this, I took a moment to admire the poetic grace of his mad muttering.
No more than I would lovingly insert my penis into one!
I replied enthusiastically, slapping my right hand off my hip as if I was a horse that I was riding.
Bear-Man narrowed his eyes and tugged at his big brown beard.
Well, some mad bastid has.
He intoned gravely.
What!? They have lovingly inserted their penis into a beer? I hope it's not one that you are selling?
I cast a fearful glance around the Bear-Man's beer shop as if a horde of angry penises were readying themselves to leap from the shelves at any open receptacles they could find.
Thankfully, there were none. Just many bottles of beer resting in the cool shade.
Nonetheless, I flexed my own receptacle to make sure that it was firmly closed.
Nah, ya plum. Carrots!
The Bear-Man grunted and hauled his mighty girth around the counter to stand beside me.
See?
He reached out a beefy paw to a nearby shelf and pulled a bottle out for my inspection.
It was a very sophisticated looking bottle with a picture of a slice of carrot on the front.
No!
I reeled back shielding my eyes.
Aye.
Grunted the Bear-Man sorrowfully.
My eyes!?
I squeaked peeking through my fingers to see if he had put the monstrosity away.
He fingered it briefly them slid it back on the shelf.
Why would someone do such a thing?
He muttered beardily in his Northern English growl.
I've seen some sights in the world of beer but never carrots.
I lamented with him.
Aye.
The Bear-Man let out a disappointed hiss like a lorry at a stop-light.
So what's it like then?
I asked brightly.
I figured he must know. You don't let a wet dog into your bed without at least weighing its knackers, as they say in London.
Eh!? Ah don't know. Not tried it.
There was a pause so pregnant that Doulas for miles around raised their snouts and sniffed at the air.
I looked at the bottle on its shelf. Despite the tinted green glass of the bottle, I fancied I could make out a faint orange glow.
Gives the fucking thing and I'll try it.
I said with the handsome bravado of the finely muscled.
Wouldja? Carrots?
Asked the Bear-Man with what looked like relief.
I clicked my tongue against my cheek.
Aye. Carrots.
That is one weird beer shop, do they have a Blackburn branch with an equally non understandable shopkeeper?
My Tripel Karmeliet is going down well but those strange beers do attract me.
Ha, that looks lovely. I can imagine the shop of they have one down there being run by a thickly accented Scotsman, lol!!!
Cheers!!
I hope you get the runs tomorrow night you daft squirrel headed jack ass. Who knows it could be fantastic and be a boom special. I seriously have my doubts and I think we need to change this up a bit. The next time you walk in and buy your test beers let us choose the next weeks pick for you. Just list 4 or 5 and we can do a mini poll amongst the comments.
I might not get thr runs with all that roughage in me!! :OD
I could do that actually, but what if everyone shooses shit beer!!
And why would we choose shitty beer for our chief taster and guinea pig.Of course we wouldn't. There has to be an element of trust and just sitting back and enjoying the ride your taste buds are about to experience.
Aye, that sums it up for me. It would be you and Asher no doubt choosing done manner of horror!! ;0p
I think it would be pretty cool to see how bad things could get. Maybe you choose one and we get to choose one. An interactive beer tasting.
Fuck it, I shall do it, knowing my luck with the interaction here there won't be too many felons choosing!! Hehe
I think you will be a little shocked as more people will tune in. You could go viral lol.
I was once! Maybe one day again!
Howdy sir meesterboom! That's so funny, who ever thought they'd do that? Now I'll go see how they tasted!
Oh, and that image you did, oh my gosh that's hilarious!
Heheh, glad you liked my baby trickery in the picture!!
Surprisingly good tasting!
yes sir, fantastic artwork and I bet there are beer drinkers out there who use you as
a guide for what beers to buy!
That would be unfortunate for them :0)
lol! no it wouldn't lol. I think it would be great if people like to try exotic beers
and apparently they do or they wouldn't be making them.
O.o eh?!? I guess next we'll be trying out some turnip beer maybe, or some tasty kale concoction? lol Way to take one for the team!!
OMGZ, kale. Yuk!!!! Lol
Hrmmmm... I could see beets in beer. (Ohh how fun , the urinal in the pub would turn pink)
Carrots ... If they were cooked to a mash, then added, the sweet flavour .. if managed subtly might be decent.
This is really pandora's box. Beets, Sweet Potato, Carrots, Turnips ... It could be marketing genius.
We anxiously await your report!
Marketing genius or a slippery slope to root vegetable hell!!!!
Although the way you put it made it sound not bad!
Hrmmmmm
Turnip Beer!!!! Sounds like something from Harry Potter.
Corona is trying to be the first Major beer company in North America to have a THC infused beer.
Because we need the ability to get high and drunk at the same time.
THC infused beer, that's just nuts. It's like a combo you don't want to be doing in normal circumstances!!
As for penises in beer, it is known as a "foreskin shandy".
Usually served up to the higher ranking people as the evening approaches the end.
There has been known for the odd glass to be filled a little in the process as well, [by this stage the boss has lost his sense of taste, and the act is well reported at morning tea the next day by the misscreant, if they can remember]
Hahaha. A foreskin shandy, that is funny. High jinks indeed!!
I think you based your post around this line, which is a cracker by the way.
There was a pause so pregnant that Doulas for miles around raised their snouts and sniffed at the air.
Hehe, it did make me laugh when it popped into my head. I can see them in my mind's eye!!!
Eish I don't know but sometimes the thing we least expect will surprise us most - cannot wait for the review. Carrots are good for your eyes so at least you will see better if it tastes bad hahaha
I shall be able to find my way to the toilet in the dark!!
I hope he gave you a sturdy discount since you're doing him such a favour.
Lol, did he feck the villain!!
Surely you should be getting a discount for being such an excellent customer by now.
I think he's only likely to charge me more!!
Way to treat your best customer ;-)
I'm probably his worst, picking up a few bottles here and there whilst others go and splurge loads every time getting bottle by the crate! Makes me feel quite inadequate it does lol!!
But you are buying quality (sometimes...). Though I guess quantity is what pays his bills.
I think it is, done of the beers are the times the price of the ones I buy. Shudder
Hahahah here goes my dear Gentkeman aka Meesterboommyyyy ...carrot + beer here I come!!!! Longest time buddy, I was busy developing our app-, good news is that it is live-see my post for the link. Happy weekend and greeting to your family.
Hello Charles!! Iwill indeed have a look, how mysterious!