Bear'ly Wine

in life •  last month 

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Hola amigo, yo soy jamon para ti!

I yodelled happily to the Bear-Man as I strutted into his splendid little beer shop.

What the fook did you say? Izzat Spanish?

He looked up, his face oddly surprised as if I had asked him to trim my bonsai.

Spanish? Si, es molto benne!

I chuckled in response.

Admittedly, it had been some years since I had been a Spanish man but they say you never forget.

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The Bear-Man stood up and held his hands out to the sides apologetically.

You're early, you don't normally come till a Friday?

Whilst he spoke he sidled his massive girth in front of a box he had been ferreting about in.

He looked slightly embarrassed as if The Elders of Mammon had been round to ask for their shoes back but he had worn them outside already.

I shrugged manfully.

Ach, I was bored and didn't have any lunch plans, so decided to come today instead.

I made that face that people make when they run over a dog in their car but pretend that it was only a pigeon.

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The Bear-Man shuffled his feet and avoided my gaze.

I don't really 'ave any new beers in. Not till tomorrah, at least.

I rumpled my brow and looked to his feet.

What's in the box?

The box?

The Bear-Man looked confused then smiled and waved a hand about airily as if attempting in-flight masturbation of a seagull.

Oh, this? It's nothing. Nothing really. Nothing at all.

His face reddened slightly.

There was something going on here. Something foul. I could smell it.

Nothing, eh? Show me.

I barked.

The Bear-Man opened his mouth as if to speak then clamped it shut and silently reached down to flip the box open.

I hunched down and took out a can.

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What the hell is this!?

I stood and waved the can at him in disbelief.

Barley wine!?! Barley wine!??! That's not beer. What in the bloody hell is going on!?

I squawked indignantly.

He had betrayed me. This was a beer shop. This was THE Beer Shop. Now he was selling wine!?

Wine!?

Outrageous.

It... It... It is beer.

Stuttered the Bear-Man.

Is it fuck. It's nonsense that's what it is. There is no chance you will catch me drinking barley wine and pretending it's beer!

I stamped my foot to emphasise my point as if I were a six year-old girl again.

That one there is 13.5%. Bloody strong. It's definitely beer you know?

The Bear-Man looked at the can in awe.

He thrust it at me.

Try it?

I narrowed my eyes in disgust. What!? He thought a man like me would try this odd wine and pretend it was a beer?

Had he no idea who he was dealing with!?

Go on, you don't have to pay. It's a sampler box.

I took a big deep breath in, ready to retort my reply.... Then I stopped.

Oh, free you say? Alright then.

I gave him a stern look just in case he thought he was buying a shot of the night pony and accepted the mysterious wine that was a beer.

This shall be interesting!

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I knew that the people on the other side of the world were different, for the past yonks you have been trying variously treated barley drinks, with some strange treatments to I must add. The names of some of them were also "different" as well. now you find one that calls itself "wine" and you are surprised. it might have been aged in brandy kegs as a change from bourbon, if you read the fine print. At 13.5, don't make to many plans for Sunday,
Enjoy the tasting. :-)

Hehehe, well now that you mention it, one of them is aged in bourbon barrels!!

I aint making any plans for Sunday at all. I might not be fit for anything!

if it was "wild Turkey" or Jack Daniels" casks you may have to extend your rating range. 15 out of 10

13.5% and free, quit moaning and get it drank!

The percentage and fact it says 'wine' though is is enough to arouse suspicions!

I have never seen a beer that is so strong so I have my suspicions too!!

It will get drank... TONIGHT! :OD

'Oh, free you say? Alright then.'

Hahaha, you could be Dutch.
Can hardly wait till Saturday night ...

I know, my eyes were on seasons when he gave me that one for nothing! It's massive and looks nuts!

I hope you're not doing anything at all the next day. Better actually listen to the good lady to make sure XD

I believe I am meant to be purchasing her birthday presents the next morning. I hope I am fit!!

In centuries past ... if the English had known that the "word of power" was free, Scotland would simply be known as a few of the Northern counties of England.

King Eddy I would be like "Oy, Willy Wallace, I'll give ye three wagons full of beer if ye and yer we friends 'll accept me rule."
Willy "Ye mus be daft ... FREEDOM!!!"
Eddy "But I'll give them to ya fer ... free"
Willy "FREE D'em wagons, we be English now!"

And they all would live happily ever after ... At least until Brexit


Enjoy the Barley wine!!

It's sadly true! Free stuff rocks, big style!!!

I am looking forward to it. I got two different kinds!! Only one was free though! It was like a tease to get me in!

The magical word ... everyone abandons their ideals & values ... insubordination Baby
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Pffff , cheese and wine nights
General OD
lolol , :-))

Haha! I love abandoning my morals!!

This will be interesting as you say - I like wine so would like to know how barley and wine go together.

I actually quite like wine too. I'm fact Friday nights are wine nights for me. Looks like it will be wine all weekend!

Huuuuh wine!! WINE! Beer gives 10 - 0 to wine, I'm always arguing with my grandfather because he hates that I love beer and hate wine and he loves wine and hates beer... I can't drink wine, it tastes so bad! I've alrdy tried 500 bucks wine, they all taste the same!! I feel no difference!

The guy is like me xD if it is free and as alcohol it's fine with me xD even if I don't like the taste

Hope u are doing good Boom!

Lol, I actually like wine!! I don't like the idea of my beer shop selling it but I have been assured that the thing is actually beer but it's just called barley wine. Madness if you ask me!

Nice post keep it up am still to follow you

Thank you!

My brother was just talking about this, apparently they've got some barley wine "beer" up to over 20% alcohol- Sam Adams made a batch I believe. Can't wait to see your vid and hear your take!

It's crazy how strong it is!!! I am quite looking forward to it. I hope it's actually bloody nice though. Get some of that Sam Adams stuff!!

Great story esp the "I made that face that people make when they run over a dog in their car but pretend that it was only a pigeon" and "Oh, free you say? Alright then.". 🤔🤣😂
Enjoy your !Beer

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Hehe, I am actually quite looking forward to it! I had never heard of such nonsense before!!! :0D

There is a first time for everything 👍💕

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I have heard this!! :0D

@meesterboom hello dear friend. Bear man is right, Thursday is not your shopping day, you have really surprised him.
"Barley wine"? That is new to me, I had never heard it, we will see what happens in the tasting.
It's amazing as the word free, you can with everything.
I wish you a wonderful afternoon

The word free is truly a fantastic thing! I shall be sure to let you know how it tastes!!

Well that's tonight sorted then. And you can go back tomorrow for whatever new beers he gets in.

Hehe, I read thinking that might be my weekend beers!!

He says the word "free" and all your principles just go flying out the window!

As soon as he did the word free I didn't have any principles to fly out the window!! :0D

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Brilliant sir meesterboom, not many people can write conversations so well! Plus of course, the great art work!