Today I stumbled upon something. Its a little bit out there but bear with me. I think I have uncovered a deep secret that they don't want you to know about. Don't worry, I have not gone completely Flat Earther. But this is something I feel I have to share.
Have you noticed the ever increasing popularity of Take-Away coffees? It seems like everywhere you go these days increasing numbers of flaccid faced people are conducting their business whilst grimly clutching take away cups of coffee.
In fact the number of people not clinging grimly to a plastic topped cardboard cup is decreasing by the day.
Whats wrong with that? I mean everybody loves a coffee right? I must confess that I too am quite fond of the odd triple shot chocka mocka vente benty latte and find that I cannot begin my day without a good brown dosing.
So, you may ask again, what is wrong with that?
Well, I'm afraid that today I believe I have somewhat accidentally uncovered some kind of conspiracy. In fact a conspiracy which perhaps extends even beyond our sweet blue earth.
Yup, thats right. I have long suspected something was awry with the world and now have the evidence to show that someone or something is attempting to control us somehow via these take-away coffee cups for their own nefarious ends. But who and what led to this franky astounding conclusion?
Well as hard as it is to believe I am afraid that the answer is plain and simple
What? I hear you cry. Are you for real? What evidence do you have?
Well my non-coffee clutching friend. I have irrefutable evidence. Read on if you value the truth.
There I was, in an elevator of a popular department store. There was a suspiciously pale chap with a suit standing beside me holding a coffee cup. As the doors closed he suddenly jolted forward and pressed the button to open them again. Almost as if prearranged, another pale man stepped in holding a similar coffee cup. The second coffee man looked at the first and without a word raised his cup in some kind of strange ritual acknowledgment. No words were exchanged.
Jings?! These two beings were communicating without words??
The elevator stopped and the second man stepped out. As we started to ascend once more I leapt forward and BLATTED the coffee cup from the first creatures hand.
Who are you? I barked. What are you?
He stared at me, eyes wide, mouth working as if trying to capture the sounds of our earthen tongue.
The lift pinged open at the next floor and he fled. I leaned forward and picked up his 'Coffee Cup'
It was empty
There you have it. What's that you say? This evidence is flimsy or circumstantial?
Pah, this is the 21st century sheeple, WAKE UP.
So there it is.
Incontrovertible proof of Aliens and something to do with coffee cups.
The missus says I have to go for a lie down now